How Business Owners Can Cope if COVID Killed Their Business by Connor Cohen, LMSW

Owning a business is hard. Owning a business during a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic, that's even harder. As a business owner you may have been prepared for difficulties but it seems as though life gave us the toughest challenge. The pandemic changed the world, it changed how we do pretty much anything. It changed the way we communicate with others, it changed the way we work, it even changed the way that many of us shop.   In truth, the pandemic has been hard on businesses. Whether it is the issue of global supply chains  or issues with staffing, the pandemic has created a whole new world of business. So what do we do when this dream of ours and this goal of ours has us feeling that it has been taken away.  It wasn't taken away because we didn't work hard enough, or because someone else got in the way, the dream was altered because the universe, nature,  an act of God,  or whatever we want to refer to this as got in the way.  The pandemic has forced us all to adapt and business is no different.

In order to cope with the impact of the pandemic on your business there are a few steps that can be helpful.

Step 1:  Analyze and examine just how the pandemic has impacted your business. While  impact has been seen across the board, it has not always been equal. While there are  large corporations bringing in record amounts of profit,  countless other businesses are forced to close due to the extreme nature of the pandemic.  Before fully deciding how to go about coping with these changes,  we must first acknowledge just how much of an impact the state of the world has made on our business.

Step 2:  Adapt.  So we have examined how we have been changed by the world, now it is time for us to examine how we change in response.  These adaptations and changes won't always be easy, they may even change the very nature of our business,  but the dream and goal of our business is worth changing and adapting for.  Now I know that we all didn't sign up for this,  and we can feel frustrated and angry, disappointed, or just flat out defeated but  in life change is needed.  Imagine if we never changed,  we would never move forward,  we would never grow,  and we would fail to adapt.  Now I'm not saying that you have to be on the forefront  of dynamic change,  I'm not asking for revolutions.  What I am asking for is an honest attempt to adapt.  Your dream of business, your goal of business is worth that attempt.

Step 3:  Slowly integrate  original goals and plans accordingly as the world begins to open back up.  There's a reason your original business idea made that fire under you. Chances are it was a pretty good idea,  just maybe not at the most opportune time.  So as we begin to collectively heal as a people, as a nation,  as humanity,  remember that that idea of your business inspired you for a reason.  One thing that's helpful is writing down your "why".  Why are you in business? Why are you doing what you do? Why do people need this business? Keep those thoughts in mind when times are tough. Keep that purpose in mind when it looks like all hope is lost.

Owning and operating a business is difficult,  it will bring about countless emotions and feelings.  And yet despite these difficulties we continue moving forward,  we continue growing, and we continue learning. If the changes in your business have left you feeling stressed beyond what you can handle, reach out to one of our skilled therapists at Niyyah and we can help you navigate this difficult time.

Signs of Depression in Elderly People by Amanda Young, LCSW

Depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease your ability to function at work and at home.

Depression can affect anyone and it does not discriminate no matter what age, religion, socioeconomic class, ethnicity, race, or gender you identify with. There are several factors that can contribute to depression such as biochemistry, genetics, personality and environmental factors. 

Depression symptoms can range from mild to severe and co-occur with other medical conditions. It can be hard to identify depression in elderly but below are some symptoms that might be overlooked due to different changes in their health. The following list are common symptoms of depression: 

• Feelings of sadness or having a depressed mood

• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed

• Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting

• Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much

• Loss of energy or increased fatigue

• Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., inability to sit still, pacing, handwringing) or slowed movements or speech (these actions must be severe enough to be observable by others)

• Feeling worthless or guilty

• Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions

• Thoughts of death or suicide

In addition, seniors who suffer from depression signs are fatigue, experiences changes in sleeping or eating, sadness, anxiety, trouble focusing, physical illness and mood changes in addition to the signs listed above. The main two signs are social isolation and loneliness. Seniors can be triggered by losing their spouses, feeling alone or isolated, health issues, changes in where they live, life decisions and medication that they are taking for health related issues. If you or a loved one needs further help with understanding or dealing with depression please contact our team at Niyyah Counseling PLLC, and we will be more than happy to assist you. 

Coping With the Stress Infertility May Have On Your Relationship by Kathleen Chandler, LMSW, PMH-C

Infertility is a complex life crisis; research correlates it to higher rates of depression and anxiety. It is emotionally stressful, psychologically threatening, economically expensive, and it takes a physical toll. Many people experience shame, and struggle with how to talk about it, with their partner, family, and friends. If you have a partner, remember that each of you are feeling separate emotions, thoughts, wants, and needs. What stresses one partner out, may not stress the other, and vice versa. It is important to prioritize your own wellbeing, in addition to your relationship.

Here are a few tips to help you, and your partner, cope with Infertility:

Find Support

Identify who you can talk to about your infertility journey. Think of family, friends, and colleagues that could help you process the experience. The single most impactful thing you can do for your mental health is acquire social support. Join a support group with other people going through the process; you’ll feel less alone.

Identify your Stressors and Coping Mechanisms

This helps increase your self awareness. Do you have anxiety around injections? Is the two-week wait unbearable? Does the day of your beta testing cause you uncontrollable anxiety? The more aware you are of your triggers, the better you’ll be at anticipating your stressors, and developing coping strategies that work for you.

Reframe Your Thinking and Stop Catastrophizing:

Try to stay aware of your self-talk and challenge unhelpful thinking. If you catch yourself thinking, “I’ll never get pregnant”, stop the thought and replace it with a true statement: “I haven’t been pregnant yet, but I am working with a great Reproductive Endocrinology who will help us make the best treatment decision for our situation”. Instead of hyper-focusing on the worst-case scenarios, remind yourself that you don’t know what the future holds. Try asking yourself the counter question to your worst-case scenarios: “what if I never get to be a mom” might become, “what if it all works out!”. If you’re struggling with anxiety and need some help grounding yourself, check out this article by Connor Cohen, LMSW, on managing anxiety with the 3-3-3 rule!

Root Yourself in the Present

Remember to live right now. Try to prioritize doing things that bring you and your partner joy. Your life doesn’t start when you have a baby, your life is happening now. Do your best to plan meaningful activities and get them on the calendar. Make sure you both have things to look forward to!

Practice Self-Care

Take a break, take a nap, listen to music, take a bath, listen to a guided meditation, belly breathe, go for a walk outside, journal, call a friend, garden, sit by a body of water, color/paint/draw, sit in silence, go for a drive, notice your body, spend time with an animal, put your phone down or pick it up. Whatever you do, be intentional. Ask yourself what you need and do it.

Connect, Connect, Connect

Whether you need a daily 15-minute or a weekly 30-minute talk; schedule a time and duration for a stress-reducing re-connecting conversation that works for your family. When you decide how much time to allot, remember to divide the time in half; that is how much time each partner will have as the speaker and listener, as you’ll switch roles.

The Listener’s job is to:

-Focus on emotion and experience: What are you feeling right now?

-Empathize and Validate: “Of course, you feel sad, Honey. That’s normal, I feel sad too”

-Never minimize your partners experience or emotions!

The listener can ask their partner questions like:

-What was your biggest fear this week?

-What triggers have you had recently?

-What is the most upsetting to you, right now?

The Speaker’s job is to:

-Connect with the partner by naming feelings, sharing emotions and thoughts.

-Receive empathy, comfort, and love.

Therapeutic Interventions:

Psychotherapy, Interpersonal Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Couples Therapy are all evidence-based practices that can help your mental health during infertility. If you are struggling and would like some support, feel free to reach out to one of our therapists! We are just a click away!

How to Cope When Current Events Bring Up Past Trauma by Kara Bradford, LCDC, LMSW

Recent science tells us that when we experience something traumatic, our brain’s limbic system activates the “fight or flight” response. The “fight or flight” response is triggered by an acute threat to survival that triggers us to either react to, or retreat from, the threat. From there, the limbic system stores the memory in our subconscious in order to protect us from future traumatic events related to the original threat. This is an important protective factor as far as survival is concerned; however, some situations that are not life threatening can provoke the same physiological response without our conscious effort and can cause distress. With how quickly we receive information in our world today, it is important to remember that there are ways to help ourselves cope with triggers bringing up past trauma. Coping with past trauma can look like allowing yourself to experience the feelings and emotions that you’re having instead of avoiding them; however, in the moment, if they are too distressing, practicing the following 6 things came to mind, spelling the word “eclipse.” So, when current events bring up past trauma just remember the word ECLIPSE:

Engage. Enrich your daily routine by engaging in healthy activities that are positive, rewarding, meaningful, or that bring you joy, even when you don’t want to.  

Connect. Continue to stay plugged in and connected to people who make you feel safe and valued. Connect with the people that bring calming energy, that create happiness, or with someone that understands what you are going through.

Limit. When coping with trauma triggered by current events, it is important to consider limiting exposure to media, including social media, especially if it contributes to your distress. Limiting screen time can also help with overstimulation and allow the brain to rest.

Inquire. Consider reaching out to family, friends, or community members and inquiring about what you may be able to do to provide some help to them. Of course, always consider reaching out to a mental health professional that can help you process your feelings or emotions triggered by current events. Depending on the severity of distress, there are also hotlines that can offer immediate support. 

Practice. Self-care has become a real buzzword recently, but it has always been important. Make sure that you are practicing self-care by engaging in calming activities like listening to music, writing in a journal, practicing deep breathing exercises, or reading inspirational text.

Sense. Be aware of your surroundings and use your senses to ground yourself in the present moment. A common grounding technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 method in which you use all 5 senses to put yourself in the current situation. Grounding allows you to activate coping skills to help get through past traumas being triggered.

Exposure. Use the exposure to these current events as a way to gain insight into what triggers thoughts of past trauma. Take time to document feelings, emotions, and mood daily to help track pre- and post-exposure feelings, emotions, and mood.

Though the ECLIPSE method cannot change the events of the past, it can contribute to alleviating the present. Though it may only provide temporary relief, it could buy you some time until you can reach out to the appropriate professional for help. Our therapists at Niyyah provide trauma-focused therapy and most are able to offer EMDR therapy–reach out today!

What Are Common Depression Triggers by Nabiha Hasan, LMSW

Depression is a condition which affects a significant number of individuals around the world. It can be experienced by some chronically, and others from time to time due to a variety of factors. There are numerous reasons why one may experience depressive symptoms, as individuals react to triggers and changes differently from person to person. The focus of our article today is going to be on common reasons how and why some things may influence hormonal changes in one’s brain, triggering symptoms of depression. 

Seasonal changes. ‘Tis the season to be…not so jolly. Interestingly enough, seasonal changes can affect one’s mental state to the extent of triggering depression. We thought allergies were enough to dislike seasonal changes, right?! Nope, if you ever feel a wave of sadness, check the weather and time of year to help you determine if it is about time for a season change. Additionally, where you are geographically can also affect the extent of the changes occurring in the air around you; in Texas, for example, the season change can be most noticeable during the spring, when allergies can be at their highest peak!

Medication/substances. You may or may not notice that a change in medication or use of substances can impact your mental health significantly. Medications and substances have properties in them which can cause a chemical imbalance in the brain. Some substances, such as alcohol, are a depressant, meaning they will cause you to experience depressive symptoms after taking them. Individuals will often not realize this, and in turn drink more to help them numb the symptoms of depression. Next time you feel depressed, take note of whether or not you took any substances throughout the day, and if that had a potential correlation with your change in mood.

Lifestyle. Possibly some of the most noticeable factors contributing to depression would be a significant change in one’s life. The loss of a relationship due to death, divorce, or other factor may cause one to experience symptoms of depression. Grief may result in one having waves of depression, similarly described as waves of grief after the loss of a close person in one’s life. Suffering from a job loss or being in an abusive relationship are other things which could trigger depression. Having a baby can result in a condition known as postpartum depression, which also can become serious if not addressed in its earlier stages. Cultural and socioeconomic factors, which are often ongoing throughout one’s life, are other things which can trigger one to experience depressive symptoms.

Depression is a significant mental health concern which should be addressed before it can become serious. Nonetheless, if you feel that your depression is becoming difficult to bear, know that help is closeby. At Niyyah Counseling, we are trained and seasoned professionals who have experience working with all types of mental health needs, depression included. You may reach out to us by seeing our contact information on www.niyyahcounselingpllc.com. Help is a click, chat, or phone call away.

What Are the Drawbacks of Permissive Parenting? by Kathleen Chandler, LMSW, PMH-C

Are you practicing permissive parenting? Do you bribe with food, toys, and candy to prevent or stop a tantrum? Do you have a hard time setting boundaries and limits for your kids? If so, you might be practicing permissive parenting. 

We all want the best for our kids! Permissive parenting is often warm, connected, sensitive, and responsive. Those are awesome strengths; permissive parenting isn’t all bad! The problem with this style of parenting is that you’re preventing your child from experiencing and expressing their full range of emotion; therefore, preventing emotional regulation. 

Studies have correlated permissive parenting to the following:

1)    Lower levels of academic achievement

2)    Higher rates of school misconduct

3)    Increased alcohol use among teenagers

4)    Increased gaming addiction in children/teens

Children thrive on predictability and boundary setting; it is okay to say no. In fact, you need to say no; more importantly, you need to follow through with the limits you set. Why? For starters, setting boundaries helps children feel safe; children experience anxiety when they cannot predict your response. When you set a limit for your child you are helping them develop important life skills! They learn what practicing patience feels like, they figure out how to problem solve and become resourceful, they take responsibility, and they learn self-discipline. Most importantly, they know that you can handle their big feelings, and that negative feelings don’t need to be avoided at all costs. It is normal and healthy to experience frustration, anger, and disappointment. Let your child work through their feelings with you by their side. 

A boundary is not a punishment. You can be loving, kind, and firm with your boundaries. 

It is your job to make final decisions regarding safety, health, routine, education, etc. You can include your child in setting limits and boundaries, according to their stage of development. Involve them in the process! Just make sure that you are holding them accountable for the boundary that was created. 

If you’re new to setting boundaries, I suggest using The Five Essential Steps of Emotion Coaching by Dr. John Gottman.

1)    Be aware of your child’s emotion

2)    Recognize your child’s expression of emotion as a perfect moment for intimacy and teaching

3)    Listen with empathy and validate your child’s feelings

4)    Help your child learn to label their emotions with words

5)    Set limits when you are helping your child to solve problems or deal with upsetting situations appropriately.

If you practice these techniques, your child will be able to work through their big feelings to the boundaries set, with you by their side. You can continue to be warm, responsive, and connected; and set boundaries. 

If setting limits for your child causes you anxiety therapy can help! If you’re triggered by your child’s negative feelings; you’re likely triggered by your own negative feelings. Our therapists can help you work through what is coming up for you and help you strengthen your parenting skills! Reach out today for help.

Coping with War Anxiety by Connor Cohen, LMSW

War is scary. There's nothing simple about it. Unlike the pandemic, war is about man versus man. It can bring up a variety of different feelings. On a global scale we have gone from this environmental stressor...this environmental anxiety to one that is very much human in nature. I think it's the human element of war that is so anxiety-provoking. In cases of war, it is man against man. There is loss of life because of us in a sense. Naturally we can cope with the idea that Mother Nature has it out for us a lot differently than we cope with the idea of danger because of our own doing. The pandemic brought people together, it brought countries together, it was humanity versus this virus. War is very different from that. With war it's man against man and country against country. One of the most anxiety-inducing aspects of it is that as human beings we understand what it is like to be a human being. We understand and can put ourselves in the shoes of the victims of war and to some degree we can even put ourselves in the shoes of those who are the aggressors. As a human being coping with war, it is also important to point out that some of this anxiety comes from the fact that we know that human beings are not always logical actors, especially in the state of war and crisis. While this may feel lost and we may feel defeated, there are things we can do to cope with the global geopolitical landscape that we find ourselves in.

Step one: find a news source that you trust. There's a lot of misinformation in today's day and age, a lot of opinions floating around social media and a lot of words being thrown back and forth. It can make it difficult to really understand what's going on, especially when we find ourselves on the other side of the world.

Step 2: only check that news source a few times a day, perhaps once in the morning, once around  lunch and once around dinner. Try to reduce the amount of time you spend reading the news, especially around time before bed.

Step 3: if you are inclined to do so, find a way to help. Maybe that means finding a way to donate to refugees, perhaps that means advocating your local lawmakers on what you believe is the right course of action. Anxiety can be increasingly difficult when we feel helpless. In an effort to feel less helpless we can find small ways to do something, to act.

Step four: look to history. Some say that history is our greatest teacher, I believe that there is truth in that statement. While it can be easy  to see the atrocities that man has created in the past, it's also important to note that despite the atrocities, despite the wars, we have survived.  It can be easy to try and match up current events with past events in history as if we're trying to fill in a puzzle that has been done before. But for all the history we've been through, the wars of yesterday are not this war. To steal a popular phrase, history teaches us to be alert and not anxious. The purpose of looking back at history is to inform the present, not run from the future. So we can look back on wars of the past as a preventative measure not as a blueprint to follow.

The truth of the matter is war is difficult,  it's okay to be scared. We are living in a time that essentially jumped from one global scale historical event to another. This can bring up a lot of different feelings and a lot of different emotions.

Step five: honor your feelings by allowing them to be. Write out your feelings, draw your emotions, speak to loved ones about what's on your mind, nobody said this had to be easy nobody would blame you if it isn't. If you or a loved one are having difficulty coping with anxiety due to the geopolitical nature of this war, I feel free to reach out to us and our team and schedule an appointment.

What is Health Anxiety and What Are the Signs? by Kara Bradford, LCDC, LMSW

Health anxiety used to be most commonly known as hypochondria, which means that you may constantly fear that you’re ill or becoming ill, despite evidence that suggests the contrary. The DSM V no longer includes hypochondriasis as a diagnosis due to it’s derogatory nature; however, people that previously received this diagnosis are now being diagnosed as having illness anxiety disorder, which focuses on the fear and anxiety that accompanies a person equating uncomfortable or unusual physical sensations to being an indication of a serious medical condition. An example of this is when a person may see a discoloration in their skin that could be present due to unknowingly bumping into something, but immediately jumping to the conclusion that it could be melanoma, despite any other serious symptoms being present. 

As you can imagine, health anxiety has become a common issue during the COVID-19 pandemic, but does not lessen the reality of people who experience it. Here are some signs of illness anxiety disorder to look out for:

• Frequently searching the internet or medical journals for symptoms of serious illnesses and diseases.

• Avoiding people, places, and activities, due to fear of compromising your health

• Worrying that minor symptoms or certain body sensations mean that you have a serious illness.

• Constantly feeling that doctors “missed something” when receiving negative test results.

• Excessive worry or fear that you will struggle with a specific medical condition due to the condition being prevalent in your family.

• Continuously checking your body for signs of illness or disease.

• Frequently seeking medical attention for reassurance you do not have an illness or disease OR avoiding healthcare all together to avoid receiving a diagnosis of a serious illness or disease. 

While you may experience one or more of these symptoms from time to time, it does not always mean that you struggle with illness anxiety disorder. If one or any of these symptoms become persistent and obsessive to the point that it causes distress and strains social, family, or occupational relationships, you may need to reach out to your healthcare provider. If your healthcare provider believes that you may struggle with illness anxiety disorder, they may refer you to a mental health professional to help you better manage your anxiety.

While not much is known about the pathology of illness anxiety disorder, being aware of risk factors may also aid in developing a treatment plan to prevent these overwhelming symptoms. Some risk factors include age (typically effects young adults and worsens with age), history of child abuse, experiencing serious childhood illness or watching a parent experience serious illness, history of experiencing a threat of having a serious illness that turned out to not be serious, and of course suffering with anxiety or worry in general. These somatic symptoms are real and can negatively impact your mental health. If you believe you may be experiencing these symptoms, reach out to the team at Niyyah! Our therapists are ready to help you manage anxiety and walk with you in finding recovery. 

The Relationship Between Social Anxiety and Depression by Nabiha Hasan, LMSW

Social anxiety and depression may seem like two terms which are used very loosely or commonly, but in all actuality, they are persistent conditions which often go hand in hand. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, social anxiety is characterized as the “intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others.” Depression, on the other hand, is defined as “severe symptoms that affect how you feel, think, and handle daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, or working.” Although they may seem like very different conditions, one’s impact on the other is quite profound; today’s topic of discussion will be viewing how the two are related.

Social anxiety. A person with social anxiety finds it nearly impossible to go out in public, to the extent that he or she may often experience physical symptoms of rapid heartbeat, queasiness, upset stomach, or even others among many. People with social anxiety are scared, fearful, and/or nervous while they may feel that they are the center of attention (even if they’re not). Symptoms of social anxiety may be normalized in particular situations, such as public speaking, but an individual who is diagnosed will present these symptoms more times that not, and in everyday situations such as going to the grocery store.

Depression. A person with depression will experience symptoms which are on a spectrum, some of which may include: excessive sleep or lack of sleep, eating too much or too little, lack of motivation, isolation, avoidance of enjoying the hobbies or activities they once enjoyed, and neglect of routine, daily tasks. An individual with depression will no longer have the desire to go out, enjoy social time, and/or participate in gatherings with other people. Something as simple as leaving one’s room to grab a coffee or run to a fast food restaurant will seem very overwhelming and cause significant distress.

Social withdrawal. Undoubtedly, the number one thing in common which both social anxiety and depression will cause is the act of socially withdrawing oneself from public events, social circles, and society as a whole. Social anxiety results in one being extremely fearful in the presence of others, and depression causes one’s mood to be so zapped of energy and motivation that individuals avoid associating with people. The combination of both disorders can result in extreme isolation and behaviors of withdrawal. It may be difficult to distinguish between the two, but with the help of a professional, you may be able to gain some insight into how they both are affecting you.

In conclusion, social anxiety and depression are closely related, and combined, can be quite debilitating. If you feel that you are being affected by social anxiety and/or depression, don’t hesitate to reach out to any of our therapists at Niyyah Counseling for support. We have highly experienced professionals who use a variety of modalities in therapy, and can help walk you through your thoughts and emotions. We are a click, tap, message, or phone call away.

Coping with the Stress of a High Risk Pregnancy as a Couple by Kathleen Chandler, LMSW, PMH-C

Pregnancy is not a universal experience, because every person has a unique pregnancy.m Even subsequent pregnancies can be entirely different from the last. Some people feel pregnancy is a magical time; others find it to be a means to an end. One thing is for sure though, a high-risk pregnancy is incredibly stressful for both the gestating and non-gestational parent. Below are a few ways to help you, and your partner, cope together during this difficult time. 

Practice Self-Care: It is important that each partner prioritizes their own self-care. Make sure you are each getting adequate sleep, eating regularly, and taking care of your mental health. Do things that soothe you; take a bath, journal, meditate, go for a walk. Do anything that will help calm your nerves! 

Nurture each other: Do your best to talk about the feelings that are coming up for you. Stay vulnerable with one another; don’t shut the other one out. Really listen to each other and stay connected by prioritizing one-on-one time and doing things together that bring you both joy.

Support: It is incredibly important that you both feel supported during this time. 

However, it is even more important that the gestational partner feels supported by the non-gestational partner. This will help keep the body calm and reduce stress during pregnancy. Feeling loved and emotionally connected through physical support (making food, cleaning, running errands etc.), emotional support (deep listening, validating the experience), spiritual support (letting go and trusting together) are key elements the non-gestating partner can do to help reduce the stress of the experience. The non-gestating parent needs to have a strong support system during this time too. Ring Theory can help you develop your systems of support. 

Ring Theory

What is Ring Theory? It is a tool you can use to help during a crisis. 

Think of it like this, the gestating person experiencing the high-risk pregnancy is at the center of the ring. The partner is the ring around them. Outer rings of social support continue outwards. The person at the center of the ring is experiencing the crisis. They are allowed to think, feel, and express themselves, in any way, to anyone, in any circle. The goal of an outer ring is to support an inner ring. The partner’s goal should be to support the pregnant spouse. It’s a big job! It is important work! To do so successfully, the partner will need to rely on their outer circles for support. This is important!  You both need to have a solid support system during this stressful, and often scary, time. 

Practicing self-care, nurturing each other through connectedness, staying vulnerable with one another, and leaning on the support of your friends and community are the most important steps you can take to get through the high-risk pregnancy together.

If you, or your spouse, need support during a high-risk pregnancy our therapists are here to support you. Reach out today for help!