Social media undoubtedly has its pros as well as its cons. As a mental health therapist, a mother, and pretty much considering the multiple roles that I play, I personally have my reservations about social media and don’t hesitate to explore these considerations with my clients if they mention feeling unsure or are somehow affected by social media. As parents, there are several things which can influence our parenting styles, and the tricky thing about social media is that what you see is not always what’s behind the photo or post. Social media has an impact on parenting in several different shapes, forms, and fashions - read on to find out more about how so.

Picture perfect. Instagram posts, TikToks, Snapchat stories, and whatever else is in between are catered to show you only the ultimately perfect side of people’s lives and homes. Anyone who is a parent, however, knows that there is no part of parenting which is perfect - it can get messy, real, and just a bit complicated. Taking part in observing or trying to mimic this perfection is unhealthy, unrealistic, and can lead to damaging expectations as a parent. Noticing another mom’s spotless living room on camera, untouched kitchen, or daily color coordinated outfits with her mini me’s can cause one to rethink about priorities and possibilities.

The end goal. Ultimately, what is your role as a parent? What are some of your aspirations, goals, and hopes for your child? If you’re like most parents, the closing at the end of a long day with your little ones is not defined by whether or not your house is clean, your outfits are perfectly matching, or the number of likes you got on your most recent post - as parents, we are all striving and on this rollercoaster of parenthood together in our own separate ways in efforts to raise strong, confident, and intelligent human beings who will positively impact society and repeat the beautiful cycle of life.

You are the parent of your child. Social media parents are only parents to their own children, not to the children of the world. You know your child better than anyone else on earth, and you also know which approaches work best for her or him. A parent of three who uses the love and logic or 1-2-3 parenting style may not work for you as a parent of one, because your child’s personality and temperament are different and unique.

If you feel that social media is affecting your ability to parent or is causing you to second your capabilities as a mother or father, contact any of our therapists at Niyyah Counseling for support or to help you walk through your emotions. You are also more than welcome to check out our blog posts here on our website to read more about articles our team has written regarding the various aspects of parenting. Our therapists are trained in child development and have worked with parents of children of all ages - therapy is just a click away.

Are you practicing permissive parenting? Do you bribe with food, toys, and candy to prevent or stop a tantrum? Do you have a hard time setting boundaries and limits for your kids? If so, you might be practicing permissive parenting.

We all want the best for our kids! Permissive parenting is often warm, connected, sensitive, and responsive. Those are awesome strengths; permissive parenting isn’t all bad! The problem with this style of parenting is that you’re preventing your child from experiencing and expressing their full range of emotion; therefore, preventing emotional regulation.

Studies have correlated permissive parenting to the following:

1) Lower levels of academic achievement

2) Higher rates of school misconduct

3) Increased alcohol use among teenagers

4) Increased gaming addiction in children/teens

Children thrive on predictability and boundary setting; it is okay to say no. In fact, you need to say no; more importantly, you need to follow through with the limits you set. Why? For starters, setting boundaries helps children feel safe; children experience anxiety when they cannot predict your response. When you set a limit for your child you are helping them develop important life skills! They learn what practicing patience feels like, they figure out how to problem solve and become resourceful, they take responsibility, and they learn self-discipline. Most importantly, they know that you can handle their big feelings, and that negative feelings don’t need to be avoided at all costs. It is normal and healthy to experience frustration, anger, and disappointment. Let your child work through their feelings with you by their side.

A boundary is not a punishment. You can be loving, kind, and firm with your boundaries.

It is your job to make final decisions regarding safety, health, routine, education, etc. You can include your child in setting limits and boundaries, according to their stage of development. Involve them in the process! Just make sure that you are holding them accountable for the boundary that was created.

If you’re new to setting boundaries, I suggest using The Five Essential Steps of Emotion Coaching by Dr. John Gottman.

1) Be aware of your child’s emotion

2) Recognize your child’s expression of emotion as a perfect moment for intimacy and teaching

3) Listen with empathy and validate your child’s feelings

4) Help your child learn to label their emotions with words

5) Set limits when you are helping your child to solve problems or deal with upsetting situations appropriately.

If you practice these techniques, your child will be able to work through their big feelings to the boundaries set, with you by their side. You can continue to be warm, responsive, and connected; and set boundaries.

If setting limits for your child causes you anxiety therapy can help! If you’re triggered by your child’s negative feelings; you’re likely triggered by your own negative feelings. Our therapists can help you work through what is coming up for you and help you strengthen your parenting skills! Reach out today for help.