How Exercise Can Help Anxiety by Nabiha Hasan, LMSW

The benefits of exercise are far too many for us to count, keep track of, or mention simply in passing. Exercise in relation to mental health, however, is quite simply profound. Along with its impact on heart health, fitness, and reviving energy, a workout has a substantial impact on stress reduction, grounding, and other aspects related to anxiety. See below for some tips on how exercise can help with anxiety in particular.

Grounding. Exercise helps you stay grounded and in the moment. When you workout, it is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to be anxious at the same time, because your body is so engulfed in the increased heart rate, release of positive hormones, and just being there in the present. As therapists, we often provide insight into grounding exercises, and practice them in session so individuals can utilize them on their own and in times of anxiety.

Mindfulness. Exercise is a type of mindfulness - if one focuses on the increased heart rate, change in breathing patterns, and steady bodily movements, the mind will automatically shift gears from anxious thoughts to mindful focusing. Mindfulness is another strategy that is heavily focused on in therapy, in part due to the multiple positive effects it has on anxiety and many other mental health concerns. Anxiety feeds off of circling thoughts, overthinking, and fear; exercise doesn’t allow one’s mind to go in that direction. As mentioned previously, the combination of bodily changes during a workout prevents the mind from scrambling to locate or fixate on thoughts which provoke anxiety.

Physical movement. Some of the physiological symptoms caused by anxiety are stomach pain, weakness in the limbs, and heart palpitations or increased heart rate. While exercising, your body is inevitably involved in physical movement - anxiety causes major physical tension otherwise, and the use of physical movement will in turn ease your muscles.

Routine. With regular exercise, one can build up the resilience to feel physically, emotionally, and mentally strong in order to be guarded from anxious feelings. Continuous exercise will repeatedly give the positive effects mentioned, and in turn have an impact on one’s well being. Exercise is extremely beneficial in many cases and instances; for anxiety it is particularly profound. It undoubtedly takes some time to establish and build a habit, maintain it, and bring it to your daily life; the impact and difference it can make on one’s wellbeing, however, is priceless and well worth it.

All in all, a combination of strategies can ease symptoms of anxiety, with exercise being one of them. Anxiety can be treated by lifestyle changes, incorporation of various strategies, medication, and therapy. In therapy, we work to combat your anxious thoughts, challenge them, and help you find nuances in thinking patterns which may be harmful or triggersome. If you feel that you could benefit from therapy due to anxiety that you are experiencing, please feel free to reach out to us at Niyyah Counseling; together, we can work toward helping treat these anxious feelings and orient to a more positive, less stressful, and healthy future.

Responding to People Who Judge Your Choice to Stay Child Free

So you don’t want kids. That’s great! Really that’s wonderful to hear! Not wanting kids is a choice and it is a choice that is valid. There are several reasons why we may choose to not have children. Whether we do not wish to have children for medical, financial, or personal reasons, it is our choice not to have kids. So how do we cope and respond to people in our lives who don’t seem to accept that individual choice of ours?

Understand the individual: It can be an important step to understand not only the individual who does not accept your choice to not have kids, but the relationship between you and them as well. How we respond to a parental figure not accepting our desire to be childfree and a coworker will be and should be very different.

Know your boundaries: At the end of the day, our choices and our reasoning is exactly what it sounds like, ours. You have the right and power to decide what you share, how you share it and who you share it with.

Your no does not have to be a “maybe one day”: This may be easier written than actually done, but part of knowing our own boundaries is knowing yourself and your reasonings. If you truly know that kids are not in your future and that is what you want, then you do not have to downplay that choice to appease others.

The soft redirect: “I don’t have any kids, but one thing that I’m really passionate about is” don’t be afraid to change the subject if you need to, by doing so, we can effectively signal to the other person that while we do not feel comfortable discussing children, we are respectful of their time and conversation.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions: “Well why do you care so much about me having children?” redirecting an unwanted question with another question of your own completely changes the dynamic of the conversation and helps shift you away from either a defensive or a combative position.

Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know”: Having children is a huge decision, one not to be taken lightly. It is perfectly okay to respond to the question with an “I don’t know”. Now whether this answer just saves us from a long explanation or conversation that we would rather not have or we ultimately do not actually know is not important. What is important is the fact that your reasons are valid and they are yours.

Overall, there are countless reasons individuals decide to live childfree. Medical issues, financial concerns, concerns about the future or concerns that you are simply not ready are all valid reasons to not have children. At Niyyah Counseling, we understand that it can be difficult to answer these questions over and over but we also want you to know that you are not alone. A study from 2018 shows that roughly ⅕ of couples aged 35-39 have decided to not have children. If you or a loved one feels as though they need someone to talk to about the decision to be childfree, schedule an appointment with one of our wonderful counselors today!

The Benefits of Couples' Financial Planning by Connor Cohen, LMSW

Money makes the world go round and it has been said to be the root of all evil. It’s no wonder that money and finances are one of the leading causes of stress and conflict. According to recent data over ⅕ of marriages end in divorce due to financial reasons. Money, whether we like it or not, is a huge part of our life. Whether it’s money for groceries or a new phone, how we make and spend money can have a huge impact on our relationships. So you may be asking yourself, “how do I work towards being financially happy in my relationship?” Well that is where couple’s financial counseling comes in. 

Oftentimes, conflict arises between individuals due to expectations. Conflict is present when expectations do not meet reality. Each individual has their own expectations about how money should be spent. Thus, when either person in the relationship sees that their expectations are not being met, the relationship can experience conflict and hardship. So what are the advantages of financial counseling for couples?

1. It allows for clear understanding of expectations: The strongest way to survive the ups and downs of expectations is an open and honest conversation. By taking time to express your opinions and beliefs around money in an open and honest fashion, we can communicate our expectations in a way that is productive.

2. Priorities can be explored and explained: Imagine a situation where your partner really wants to save up for a new TV but you truly believe that the TV you have is fine. Now imagine at the same time, you really want to save your money for a new couch but your partner believes the couch you currently have is perfectly fine for the time being. In this situation, you each have differing priorities. Both of which could be argued to be about rest, relaxation and self-care. Now without communication, you may view the TV as just another way to spend money on watching football on Sundays, where they view it as a way to better enjoy TV/Movie time with you. Likewise, with the couch, they may view it as an expensive replacement for something that already works, but to you it is about providing better comfort for you and your partner, perhaps even on Sundays for the football season. By being able to fully express our wishes and the thoughts and beliefs behind these wishes, we can begin to understand our partner’s thoughts and feelings around finances a little better. 

3. Couples financial counseling can help you both plan for the future: Like the situation above, future financial planning can be a vital aspect to discuss. Oftentimes couples that struggle are on diverging paths, by working together on future financial planning, you and your partner can examine the paths you each wish to take when it comes to finances. Together you can each take steps forward in directions in which you agree and begin to understand and compromise in areas where you differ. 

Overall,  couples financial planning can be a vital step when it comes to keeping a relationship strong. By taking time to discuss the big things like money and spending, we can begin to take steps forward on a joint path that leads to happiness and prosperity for you and your partner.

Tips for Successful Co-parenting by Nabiha Hasan, LMSW

Parenting is one of the most important, rewarding, and hardest things we as parents will ever have to do. It is sometimes viewed or perceived to be “the mother’s job,” due to societal expectations for mothers to stay at home and do the child-rearing, but the truth is, it takes two to parent, and many mothers present day are actually not stay-at-home moms.. Notwithstanding the single parents, blended families, and other circumstances in which individuals are left to parent, co-parenting is an essential part of raising a child, and is a partnership in essence. Take note of some of these tips for successful co-parenting.

Communicate. Being honest and upfront about your parenting style with your co-parent is potentially the best thing you can do to consider your parenting a partnership. We all come from unique backgrounds and were parented very differently; oftentimes, we may refer back to our own style of being parented when we become parents ourselves. Taking note of wanting to utilize positive discipline instead of time-outs, for example, and communicating that with your co-parent is the first step to ensure that you are both on the same page.

Use alone time. Whether you are raising a toddler, a school aged child, or a teenager, it is important to take advantage of alone time and give yourself a break whenever needed, especially if you tend to be the parent who is physically with the child more often. There should be no guilt involved in needing a break to give yourself some “me time,” take a nap, or even just be alone in silence. Remember that to care for your child efficiently, you must be comfortable in caring for yourself, because only then will you be able to care for your child in the best way possible. For many parents, there seems to be a sense of peace in having some alone time, which can be very helpful even if it’s not extensive. Parenting alone or without proper use of your co-parent can lead to stress, anxiety, and other issues going forward.

“It takes a village to raise a child.” Even if you don’t have a village per se, the least you can do is utilize your co-parent to raise your child; parenting is not easy work, and to those who may not have a co-parent, please do your best to take the help of others whenever possible. Whether that means having your child spend the night at a grandparent’s, having a babysitter come by while you run some errands, or letting your little one play at a friend’s house for a bit, utilizing that break can be extremely beneficial for you.

Know that our staff at Niyyah Counseling are here to help you explore the options related to parenting, co-parenting and seeking your support system if you need assistance in doing so. All of our therapists are highly qualified, and many of them are parents themselves. Nonetheless, we will do our best to guide you in finding some solutions in this world of parenting that can seem overwhelming at times. We are simply a click away.

Why Does Seasonal Depression Happen? by Amanda Young, LCSW

There are four seasons that happen during a year. Some people enjoy spring and fall while others enjoy summer and winter. Then there is this thing that tends to happen with time either springing forward or falling back an hour which throws everyone off.  While these times and seasons can be enjoyable they can also cause people to struggle mentally. A lot of people do not know or understand why they are feeling sad or down during these times, they just know there is a shift in the way they function. The clinical term for this is called seasonal affective disorder (SAD) better known as seasonal depression. 

Seasonal Affective Disorder, (SAD), is depression that gets triggered by a change in seasons, usually when fall starts. This seasonal depression gets worse in the winter before ending in the spring.

There is a milder version such as “winter blues' ' that some people might experience during the colder months or “summer depression” during summer which is less common. However, SAD interrupts your daily functioning and normally last for a few months 

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 5% of adults in the United States experience SAD. It tends to start in young adulthood. SAD affects women more than men, though researchers aren’t sure why. About 75% of people who get seasonal affective disorder are women. About 10% to 20% of people in America may get a milder form of the winter blues.

 SAD is more common in younger people and women. SAD is normally experienced by people who also have other mental health disorders such as major depressive disorder, bipolar, anxiety, schizophrenia, ADHD, panic disorder and eating disorders. Also studies have shown that people who live in higher latitude areas and cloudy areas also are prone to experiencing SAD.

Although there are theories that suggest that biological clock change, changes in brain chemical balance, vitamin D deficiency, lack of melatonin, lack of sunlight and negative thoughts are causes of SAD, researchers do not know what exactly causes people to experience SAD. 

SAD is a form of depression so symptoms can mirror those of depressive disorders. Some symptoms of depression just to name a few are sadness, irritability, lack of interest, thoughts of suicide, increase need of sleep, anxiety, etc. If you feel that you or a loved one are experiencing some of the above symptoms, please contact a mental health professional to get help. Niyyah Counseling PLLC has professional therapists who are always open to assisting and supporting you on your journey, Call today 817-435-2031.

Coping with Anxiety Related to Being Single Around New Years by Nabiha Hasan

The apple dropping in Times Square, the New Year's resolutions, the feeling of the chilly breeze, and seeing couples walk hand in hand can just about make any single person feel anxious about her or his relationship status. The holiday season in general can be triggersome, but somehow the new year can serve as a reminder that one is indeed single. Remembering a few of these tips can help you stay afloat and deal with any anxiety about being single during New Year’s Day.

Be content with being you. Learn to love yourself, and be your biggest cheerleader. Contrary to popular belief, your self worth is not defined by whether or not you are in a relationship. Your self worth is in fact determined by you and only you. You are a whole person and deserve happiness whether or not you are actively in a relationship. Society may not help in the realization of this, but one of the easiest ways to love yourself is to do more of what you enjoy doing. Taking up one of your favorite hobbies, going out to lunch by yourself (yes, that's right!), and taking a long drive while playing your favorite music are all ways for you to enjoy being alone, and not sink into any anxious feelings of being "incomplete."

Put things into perspective. Being single at the start of the new year doesn't necessarily mean that you will be single at the end too, does it? Try to remember the positives of being single, that you may miss out on when you are actually in a relationship. Stay in the present and associate with other single individuals who can relate to your situation and be a support for you during this time. 

Have faith. Whether or not you believe in a higher power doesn't have to influence the simple act of having faith. Keep in mind the hope that there is someone out there for you, on this earth of six billion people, and you will find her or him when the time is right. Remember how our earlier statement of being single on New Year's doesn't mean you will be single forever, and that in itself is a positive statement to try to keep yourself going. 

Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness exercises are extremely powerful in allowing you to experience the moment. Meditation, grounding, body scanning, and so many more options are out there for you to engage in so as to help yourself stay rooted in the present. Going on nature walks, taking note of the smell of your morning coffee, and observing the moon on a starlit night are other ways you can include mindfulness into your routine.  

Remember that our therapists at Niyyah Counseling are always here for you to help walk you through any anxious feelings that you're having. Relationships are an inherent part of life, and essential to human development, and the absence of them can definitely be stressful. Reach out to us with the click of a button, and we will walk you through these anxious thoughts you are experiencing.

How Has COVID Made it Harder for People with Anxiety Disorders? by Connor Cohen, LMSW

A once in a lifetime global pandemic. That is the reality that we are living in. This has made life difficult for everyone but for those of us with anxiety, the challenge of a global pandemic can be especially difficult. 

So what happens when our fears become justified? An anxious brain views the world through thorn covered glasses. Danger is very easy to see, and the world looks like a threat and it will hurt us. An anxious brain says “Don’t go outside”. COVID-19 has taught us in a large part, “Do not go outside”. The anxious brain says “Don’t go see friends and family, they don’t like you”. COVID has taught us “Don’t go see your friends and family, it is not safe”.  Disease and sickness are a scary part of life. Anxiety can make us feel hypersensitive to fear, disease included. 

Whether it is social anxiety or health anxiety, COVID has had a definite impact on individuals that experience anxiety. When it comes to individuals with social anxiety, we typically encourage folks with social anxiety disorder to go out there, get in public, meet people, do things to safely expose themselves in a controlled way,  and due to the state of the world, that's been pretty limited with COVID.

When it comes to health anxiety or individuals with OCD, the behaviors that are commonly recommended to keep the general public safe like washing of hands or sanitizing frequently touched surfaces can be taken to an extreme. The perceived and actualized threat of the pandemic can be a huge form of added stress for individuals coping with anxiety. 

Covid-19 and the subsequent global pandemic add a layer of anxiety to everyday life. COVID-19 essentially reinforces beliefs about isolation. When the world actually presents itself with more danger than “normal” it can be difficult to measure rational and irrational responses. With any anxiety disorder, the behaviors are not always irrational or unfounded in reason. The issue exists as anxiety being a response or over alertness to potential dangers and the actions that some may view as irrational are viewed as protective in nature. But suddenly those with anxiety are thrust  in a situation where a lot of those behaviors are being reinforced. What happens when someone who sees the world as a scary place, wakes up to monsters under the bed and around the corner? 

It is important to remember that all hope is not lost. While the pandemic and COVID-19 have led to an increase in stress across the board, there are things that we can do to help. One tool in our toolbelt is our ability to focus on aspects of life that we can and do have control over. We can control whether we wear a mask. We can choose to get the vaccine, we can choose to exercise and eat healthy. All of these factors within our control can help lessen the stress and anxiety of COVID-19 on individuals with anxiety. 

If you or a loved one are struggling with anxiety, remember to show compassion to others and yourself, the pandemic is difficult to navigate, no matter who you are. If your anxiety truly feels out of control, reach out to Niyyah Counseling to schedule a session with one of our amazing therapists. 

Tips for Parenting Adult Children by Amanda Young

Parenting is one of the most important jobs we will have as a human being. We wear that title with honor not knowing that parenting can be rewarding yet challenging. Parenting goes through different phases but I have heard adolescent years are the most challenging. I would beg to differ. Being a mom three times with different ages, I would say every stage has its challenges but parenting an adult child is the most challenging. Now you don’t necessarily have to agree with my experience but I think you would be able to identify with some of the things I mention next.

The skill of parenting is something that constantly changes depending on the age of the child and what the child needs. When it comes to parenting adult children, it can be like walking a land mine. One wrong move or response can blow up everything. The way we parent our adult children determines the quality of the relationship we will have with them moving forward. Yes, I know! You are the parent and they are the child but would you rather have someone who respects you and likes being around you or someone that doesn’t want to be around and resent you?

Knowing your boundaries and respecting them as adults goes a long way. Trusting the values, morals and lessons that you instilled in them, loving them unconditionally even in times they don’t make the right decision, shows them that you see them as an adult. So in other words, letting go so they can soar will be the right thing to do. Below are some tips to keep in mind when it comes to an adult child. 

1. Recognize and respect your differences

2. Share wisdom and insight. Be cautious of how you share information. If you are critical of them, it can damage the communication between you all. 

3. Set boundaries

4. Spend quality time with each other doing the things that you all enjoy doing.

5. Respect their relationships with their spouses or partner

6. Do not provide unsolicited advice. If they didn’t ask, don’t give.

7. Have meetings with them and family check ins

8. Keep communication lines open and learn to listen without responding to everything they say. Know your triggers. Know when to hold and when to fold. 

If you keep these tips in mind, then you will notice that you have an adult child that you respect and love. One thing that is true is that we are not always going to agree with what they do or say but we can give them room to grow. If we impede on their growth, then they could never reach their full potential and you could push them away.

Racial Trauma: Signs Symptoms and Ways to Combat It by Amanda Young, LCSW

Racial trauma is the emotional and physical symptoms that BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color), including the span of all ages, experience due to the microaggressions and racism that they experience in a variety of contexts in a span of a lifetime. Microaggressions are brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioral and environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative racial slights and insults to the target person or group” (Sue, Capodilupo, Torino, Bucceri, Holder, Nadal, et al., 2007, p. 273). Racism is defined as when someone is treated unfairly due to the basis of their skin or background, a form of discrimination. Everyday children of color are subject to traumatic events whether it is directly or indirectly. These events unfortunately happen more often than not and have a negative impact on the recipients’ mental health. Children of color witness mistreatment and differences that start as early as school age but are conditioned to not say anything out of fear of being hurt emotionally and physically. So youth of color are forced to carry this weight on their shoulders and walk through this world suppressing everything that is going on with them which leads to trauma that is accumulated over the course of their lives. Racial trauma can have lasting effects and can be life altering for youth of color.  

According to SAMHSA’s 2018 National Survey on Drug Use and Health ,despite rates being less than the overall U.S. population, major depressive episodes increased from 9 percent-10.3 percent in Black and African American youth ages 12-17, 6.1 percent to 9.4 percent in young adults 18-25, and 5.7 percent to 6.3 percent in the 26-49 age range between 2015 and 2018. The prevalence among Blacks and African Americans are less likely than white people to die from suicide at all ages. However, Black and African American teenagers are more likely to attempt suicide than White teenagers (9.8 percent v. 6.1 percent).  Due to the racial disparities in healthcare, stigma in the communities in which children of color live and the strong distrust of the majority, lack of professionals in different helping fields are some of the reasons that prevent children of color from seeking help. 

So what does it take to start the process of changing how we address children of color? First by recognizing the signs of racial trauma. Some signs of racial trauma are: ongoing emotional distress, including episodes of fear, anger, sadness, and irritability without any apparent cause, a tendency to put themselves down or assume their worth is lower than their peers, increased levels of generalized anxiety, trouble concentrating on tasks, withdrawing from social situations or having social anxiety, hypervigilance that includes jumpiness, restlessness, and heightened sensitivity to their surroundings, avoiding specific places or activities, such as school and after-school sports or clubs, difficulty accepting or following their cultural customs in public, lower self-esteem, physical symptoms, including aches and pains, appetite changes, and insomnia or other sleep problems as well as PTSD.

Although we are not able to undo the harm that has been done, we do not have to be a part of the problem. It is not enough to “not be racist”, it is vital to become Anti-racist. We can take steps to ensure that children of color are protected from continuous trauma. We can take steps of combating racial trauma by educating ourselves on children of color experiences, identifying our isms and privilege, cultivating a safe, warm, empathetic environment to communicate, validating their feelings, recognizing disparities, being genuine and seeing children of color can be the start of combating racial trauma.