The Benefits of Couples' Financial Planning by Connor Cohen, LMSW

Money makes the world go round and it has been said to be the root of all evil. It’s no wonder that money and finances are one of the leading causes of stress and conflict. According to recent data over ⅕ of marriages end in divorce due to financial reasons. Money, whether we like it or not, is a huge part of our life. Whether it’s money for groceries or a new phone, how we make and spend money can have a huge impact on our relationships. So you may be asking yourself, “how do I work towards being financially happy in my relationship?” Well that is where couple’s financial counseling comes in. 

Oftentimes, conflict arises between individuals due to expectations. Conflict is present when expectations do not meet reality. Each individual has their own expectations about how money should be spent. Thus, when either person in the relationship sees that their expectations are not being met, the relationship can experience conflict and hardship. So what are the advantages of financial counseling for couples?

  1. It allows for clear understanding of expectations: The strongest way to survive the ups and downs of expectations is an open and honest conversation. By taking time to express your opinions and beliefs around money in an open and honest fashion, we can communicate our expectations in a way that is productive.

  2. Priorities can be explored and explained: Imagine a situation where your partner really wants to save up for a new TV but you truly believe that the TV you have is fine. Now imagine at the same time, you really want to save your money for a new couch but your partner believes the couch you currently have is perfectly fine for the time being. In this situation, you each have differing priorities. Both of which could be argued to be about rest, relaxation and self-care. Now without communication, you may view the TV as just another way to spend money on watching football on Sundays, where they view it as a way to better enjoy TV/Movie time with you. Likewise, with the couch, they may view it as an expensive replacement for something that already works, but to you it is about providing better comfort for you and your partner, perhaps even on Sundays for the football season. By being able to fully express our wishes and the thoughts and beliefs behind these wishes, we can begin to understand our partner’s thoughts and feelings around finances a little better. 

  3. Couples financial counseling can help you both plan for the future: Like the situation above, future financial planning can be a vital aspect to discuss. Oftentimes couples that struggle are on diverging paths, by working together on future financial planning, you and your partner can examine the paths you each wish to take when it comes to finances. Together you can each take steps forward in directions in which you agree and begin to understand and compromise in areas where you differ. 

Overall,  couples financial planning can be a vital step when it comes to keeping a relationship strong. By taking time to discuss the big things like money and spending, we can begin to take steps forward on a joint path that leads to happiness and prosperity for you and your partner.