Parenting is one of the most important jobs we will have as a human being. We wear that title with honor not knowing that parenting can be rewarding yet challenging. Parenting goes through different phases but I have heard adolescent years are the most challenging. I would beg to differ. Being a mom three times with different ages, I would say every stage has its challenges but parenting an adult child is the most challenging. Now you don’t necessarily have to agree with my experience but I think you would be able to identify with some of the things I mention next.

The skill of parenting is something that constantly changes depending on the age of the child and what the child needs. When it comes to parenting adult children, it can be like walking a land mine. One wrong move or response can blow up everything. The way we parent our adult children determines the quality of the relationship we will have with them moving forward. Yes, I know! You are the parent and they are the child but would you rather have someone who respects you and likes being around you or someone that doesn’t want to be around and resent you?

Knowing your boundaries and respecting them as adults goes a long way. Trusting the values, morals and lessons that you instilled in them, loving them unconditionally even in times they don’t make the right decision, shows them that you see them as an adult. So in other words, letting go so they can soar will be the right thing to do. Below are some tips to keep in mind when it comes to an adult child.

Recognize and respect your differences
Share wisdom and insight. Be cautious of how you share information. If you are critical of them, it can damage the communication between you all.
Set boundaries
Spend quality time with each other doing the things that you all enjoy doing.
Respect their relationships with their spouses or partner
Do not provide unsolicited advice. If they didn’t ask, don’t give.
Have meetings with them and family check ins
Keep communication lines open and learn to listen without responding to everything they say. Know your triggers. Know when to hold and when to fold.

If you keep these tips in mind, then you will notice that you have an adult child that you respect and love. One thing that is true is that we are not always going to agree with what they do or say but we can give them room to grow. If we impede on their growth, then they could never reach their full potential and you could push them away.