Conflict Resolution Tips by Connor Cohen, LMSW
It's normal to fight. It's normal to feel angry. It's normal to get frustrated. It is normal to have conflict. This is especially true when it comes to those that we love. Any time we spend with the same people over and over, we're bound to ruffle some feathers. They can be the best person in the world oh, our favorite person, the love of our life, and yet we can be in conflict with them. Even when we agree 100% (which let's face it, probably doesn't happen) we can still feel the flames of conflict creeping up. So what do we do when we are in conflict with her significant other? Do we yell and scream? Do we bottle it all up and hold it inside only for it to come out one day? In a perfect world, we would have other ways to deal with this conflict. We would always know just what to say, we open and upfront with our emotions, we would be understanding of our partner's perspective and conflicts would feel just like a small bump in the road or if you are just slightly turning the steering wheel to avoid a hazard. And while we may not live in a perfect world, we can still respond to conflict in a way that honors both our self and our partner and each of our perspectives within the conflict.
Step one: Take a step back. Oftentimes In the heat of the moment when the flames of conflict are highest, we can forget that the person that we're arguing with is the one that we love. We forget all those soft and Sweet Moments with them, we forget how they were there for us in our darkest moments, we forget how they make us laugh and how they make us smile, all we see in this moment is the conflict. We see right and wrong black and white. Now it's natural to want to be correct, I think we all enjoy being right but sometimes in the moment taking a step back, maybe even physically to remind ourselves that there is more in the relationship than this one moment of conflict can be super important to helping us navigate the conflict.
Step Two: Remember that it is you and your partner versus the conflict. As we've already discussed we can often feel as though it is us versus them, their ideas versus ours. But there's another perspective to take. If we can detach ourselves from the conflict of the heat of the moment of the emotions of the moment, we can see that both sides want a resolution. In conflict we both want the same goal, we just have different visions of how to get there. The sooner we see that we both want the same things, the sooner we realize we can work together to get those things. It would be like if you thought the best way to get to work is taking the highway to the left and your partner views the best way as the highway to the right. The second you realize that you both simply want to find the easiest way to work, we can begin to build on mutual ground.
Step Three: If needed when emotions are high, set aside time for 5 and 10 minute breaks. Oftentimes strong emotions bring on strong emotions. Big reactions get even bigger reactions. If during a conflict or argument feelings are just escalating, set aside time to step away. This not only gives each person time to really think about what they're trying to say, but it also gives time for our logical brain to kick back on after utilizing our emotional brain. When we fight our emotional brain takes over, by giving space and time away from the strong emotions and feelings and conflict, new perspectives can be better appreciated. In the heat of the moment We may not be open to hearing what our partner believes is the best option but after five or 10 minutes away we may start to consider it or we may even be more open to it than before.
Step four: If needed, reach out for help. It's not always easy navigating conflict and arguments and fights. If conflict was easy I don't think it would be called conflict. If you and a loved one feel as though your conflicts create tension and displeasure with the relationship, our wonderful therapist here at Niyyah would be more than happy to provide an impartial and fair helping hand. Reach out today to schedule your session today and learn how to better manage relational conflict.
Tips for Filtering Headlines about COVID-19
It definitely seems like we can’t get enough of talking about Covid-19…right? More than two years into the pandemic, there are just not enough studies, headlines, or changing regulations that have not caught our attention recently. How can we stay grounded despite all of the chaos, though? Arguably so, it does seem never-ending, but there are lots of tips and tricks you can keep in mind to stay grounded and avoid the emotions that come along with the uncertainty of the Covid-19 situation. Read on to consider a few things which may be helpful for you to recognize when sorting through fear mongering headlines that take studies out of context.
Be cautious. At the end of the day, what is the purpose of headlines which make your heart drop? To do just that - instill anxiety and fear among society in order to take action. No joke, news outlets and studies can indeed be very helpful, but they often are catered to cause increased, heightened emotions because that’s how they thrive. Do your best to avoid these headlines whenever you can and whenever possible, because the more you invest in reading about them, having certain feelings about them, and worrying about the future, the more it will impact your mental health.
Do your research. Say that you do come across a headline which has caused you to lose sleep or resulted in an anxiety-driven response - what to do now? Try to research the study which is referenced to in particular. Oftentimes, the sample size (meaning the number of individuals involved in the study) or the method of conducting the research could be skewed - the headlines won’t tell you that! For example, a study done on 20 individuals cannot represent all of society - yes, those 20 individuals come from varying walks of life, backgrounds, and each has a unique story, but that doesn’t justify using it to instill fear in readers. Again, keep in mind that headlines are meant to instill fear and worry amongst society, and any discrepancies in research will NOT be highlighted at all whatsoever. Doing your part to make sure that the study is accurate, viable, and checking to see if there are any nuances in research will help you come to terms with realizing the inaccuracy portrayed in the media.
Stay grounded. Use grounding strategies to keep yourself together, especially after reading a particular article which may have triggered you. Whether that means practicing deep breathing, using the five senses exercise (five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste), or counting backwards from 100 by 7s, utilizing a grounding technique will help bring you back to the present. If you need further suggestions or ideas on how to practice grounding, check out this link to some helpful resources.
With the Covid-19 pandemic, mental health professionals have seen an influx of symptoms arising and the need for services to increase substantially. If you are interested in reading more about Covid-19 on our website, we have an established blog writing team which you can refer to and check out further posts. Nonetheless, if you feel that you are in need of further support or mental health services, contact us to find out more about our experienced therapists who can guide you and be your bridge to wellness.
Social Anxiety in the Post COVID World
Let's face it, we've been inside for a while. We've adjusted to a new way of life. We work from home, we live from home, we're home a lot. Home has become our movie theaters, our bars, our favorite five star restaurants, and even at some point bread factories. The pandemic has shown us that we can do a lot at home. Home has become a safe place for many of us. With all this staying home, it's very easy to be less social. Meetups of the past in bookstores or cafes have largely been replaced with the zoom calls and Google meetings. Our social life has become our social media life. Meeting with friends and loved ones behind the screen has been our way of life for a while.
So as things begin to return to normal, it can be scary. We live in a world where we don't really have to pay attention to social cues as much. It was a world of online tests and homework and then you log off. There's a lot naturally to be missed when we are online. We don't really have to care as much about how we look which can be a good thing but I for one am guilty of sweatpants and a fancy shirt. What changes when we go back to normal, I think it's normal to be anxious about that. This is a time when social anxiety will be higher. We got comfortable with a low social battery. We didn't have to consider our place amongst a group of people in an open setting for quite some time. Now the thought of doing that again can definitely feel overwhelming. Anytime were faced with something new or different anxiety is sure to follow. I think it's really normal for us to be a little weary of the changes that are coming. We may even have to relearn social behaviors. The truth of the matter is there is a difference between the occasional going out during the pandemic, sneaking out so to speak for a few breaths of social air, and returning to what we hope is normal life. It's naturally going to be an adjustment and it's okay to be worried about that.
It's okay to not know what to say in group settings or around friends, it's okay to not know what to say when we interact with people who maybe we haven't interacted with in a while. To put it into a metaphor it's almost as if we are all used to the dim light of a candle, and here we are finally opening the door to the outside world. The light is going to be bright, it's going to feel a little overwhelming. We've made friends with the shadows on the wall of the cave, meaning our social life has adapted to survival. We were in this balancing act for years between our need for a social life in staying healthy and safe. There are going to be some rough patches, some awkward moments, probably some feathers getting ruffled. We will most certainly get on each other's nerves as we emerge from this. But that's okay. It's important to remember that these moments happen regardless of what has happened in the world over the past number of years. We've had awkward moments before, we have misspoken, we have played a part in people's reactions and they played a part in ours. Life will go on, it may feel a little different and it may feel a little strange but I think we're all going to be okay. If you or a loved one are struggling with social anxiety as we emerge from the pandemic, our therapists are here to help. We can help guide you through this process and teach new ways to cope. Schedule your session today and begin a journey towards healing.
What Does It Mean to Outgrow a Relationship by Amanda Young, LCSW
Relationships are a wonderful union between individuals who choose to share their worlds. When we find that special someone to build a relationship with, we look to develop a deeper connection. We seem to connect with them for several reasons and we tend to get wrapped up in the bliss of the relationship. In the beginning everything tends to go well and we are stuck to each other's hips. Fun right? We are in love and not paying attention to the red flags that are right in our face. Then BAM!, one day we are feeling like this relationship is stuck in the park gear and not fun anymore. This is when the honeymoon phase has subsided and reality has set in. You might find that you guys are having frequent arguments over things that weren't important at the beginning. You might think to yourself what is going on? After some much needed self reflection and evaluation of your relationship, you come to the conclusion that you are just not connecting anymore.
We never get in relationships to think that we will outgrow the person we are with but it happens. The tension in the relationship, the tug and war, the depletion can be all signs of the relationship has run its course. So what do we do? Do I stay or do I go? Do we try harder and explore other things? Or do we let each other grow so we can continue to grow as individuals. So many questions to ask yourself but the real question is, what do you think will make you happy? Staying in a dead end relationship where there is no room for growth or moving on? These are all tough questions to ask, especially since you never imagine life without this person. Some signs to look for that would possibly indicate that you have outgrown your partner and the relationship are below.
Signs that you might have outgrown your relationship:
You are no longer excited about the relationship-it is more of a dreadful feeling anticipating what will happen today.
You no longer challenge each other-might feel that no matter what you do to help the other person grow, it feels like wasted energy, so why bother.
You get no fulfillment from the relationship-there is something missing and you seek fulfillment from other sources.
The person isn’t the same-things they did in the beginning, they are no longer interested in doing.
There is no connection or passion anymore-it just seems like you are just there.
Although this is not an exhaustive list of signs, you can normally tell when things have shifted in your relationship. If you find yourself feeling stuck or drained from your relationship, you might want to talk to someone to help you explore the changes. It can be scary to change or you might feel guilty for feeling the way you feel and that is normal. Niyyah Counseling PLLC has therapists who are willing to help without the judgment, just give us a call today.
Seasonal Depression in Spring? by Kara Bradford, LCDC, LMSW
It makes more sense to struggle with seasonal depression, or seasonal affect disorder (SAD), in the months that cut down sunlight hours and activities during the winter, right? Sure; however, this does not mean that SAD cannot be experienced in the spring and summer months as well.
First, we need to understand what SAD is, beginning with the fact that it is a form of depression. As we know, depression symptoms most often include: insomnia or oversleeping, unintended weight loss or weight gain, loss of interest in things once enjoyed, difficulty concentrating, feelings of low energy, and feelings of hopelessness. The thing that makes this type of depression SAD and not major depressive disorder (MDD) is that these symptoms are experienced at the beginning of a certain season and dissipate at the same time each year.
While it is most common to experience SAD during the winter months, it is also possible to experience SAD during the spring and summer months for other reasons. In some areas of the world, spring and summer months bring things that may cause people to become less active despite longer periods of sunlight; such as seasonal allergies due to pollen, high temperatures, and schedule changes.
Seasonal allergies can cause itchy and/or watery eyes, runny nose, sore throat, and what can seem like constant sneezing, which can negatively affect a person’s mood. Allergies can also cause people to sleep more, eat less, and stay inside most of the day to avoid pollen, which all have the possibility of fueling depression symptoms.
High temperatures, especially in areas that reach triple digits, can make outdoor activities less enjoyable with having to constantly apply and reapply sunscreen, having to drink more water or other fluids to stay hydrated (not to mention increased potty breaks that accompany this), easily experiencing heat exhaustion, and then add the possibility of high humidity on top of that–FORGET IT–people may end up spending more time indoors to avoid the heat. More time indoors with less exposure to sunlight can also contribute to SAD.
In most areas, summer months bring other challenges like changes in daily routines, such as children being home from school, earlier work hours, and increase in traveling. Sometimes, depression symptoms can sneak up on us when we experience difficulty adjusting to changes in our daily routines or schedules. For example, with children home from school, some parents have to make arrangements for child care, provide 2 to 3 additional meals per day, and attend seasonal activities their children are involved in. Difficulty adjusting to brief schedule changes can cause increased stress (due to scheduling and finances), which can contribute to depression symptoms.
Another thing that may contribute to SAD symptoms during spring and summer months are cognitive distortions surrounding poor body image and self-esteem. Some people may be triggered by the thought of putting on a swimsuit and being in public, causing social isolation, which can also contribute to depression symptoms.
Whether you or someone you know deals with SAD during fall and winter months or spring and summer months, our therapists at Niyyah can help! Our therapists are trained in many different treatment modalities to address issues of depression, anxiety, and cognitive distortions surrounding circumstances and activities in any and all seasons. You deserve to be the best version of yourself, no matter how many hours of sunlight you have in a day.
How to Talk to Teens about Sexuality by Kathleen Chandler, LMSW, PMH-C
It is important to keep the lines of communication open with your teen. You want them to know you are always in their corner; they can come to you for anything! The best approach is to begin talking to your kids about sexuality prior to the onset of puberty. The more time you spend discussing sexual matters, the more comfortable you will both be when they are teenagers.
These talks should start as early as birth through toddler years. Teach them to correctly identify and label genitals. Read them developmentally appropriate books (I’ll provide suggestions below). As they start to explore their body, you can teach them that it is normal (it is developmentally appropriate) and let them know, when and where, is an acceptable place to do so. Do not shame your child for bodily exploration; it is natural. Read books that include different types of family structures; and let them know that love is what makes a family.
As they get a little older (2-5) discuss consent, give them autonomy to make decisions regarding their body. Talk to them about boundaries and give them permission to say yes or no to tickling, hugs, and kisses. Talk to your child about appropriate touch and let them know it is safe to come to you if anyone ever touches them in a way that makes them uncomfortable.
As they enter school age, you want your child to already have boundaries in place, be confident in saying yes or no to bodily touch and have a general understanding of different family structures. During this time frame, and up until puberty, you’ll want to have regular discussions about sexuality and challenge any misinformation your child might be receiving. You can use examples from books, media, family, school etc. You should also revisit the body and make sure your child has learned about reproductive parts; what they are and how they function. Children with vaginas can start puberty as early as 9 years old, you want to make sure your child is knowledgeable about what will come.
What if you have a teenager and you haven’t discussed any of this?
It’s not too late! Here is how you can talk to your teen about sexuality:
First, it is important you address the awkward or uncomfortable feelings you may have about the topic. You might disclose that your parents never had this talk with you, or how it was super awkward for you when they did.
Second, ask them what they already know. You’ll be surprised to learn how much knowledge they’ve acquired on the topic. If your teen denies knowing much, let them know that it’s normal to not want to discuss this with you but you’re going to start having regular conversations (not lectures) on the topic.
Third, Now is your opportunity to challenge any misinformation they shared and provide them with factual based knowledge.
Fourth, talk to them regularly about it. Ask about their friend’s dating lives. Ask them if they have a crush on anybody, don’t assign gender to who you think they may like; instead, get to know who they like. The more you do it, the easier it will get. Share stories about what it was like for you to date as a teenager. Share stories of your friends. Educate on safe sex practices, schedule them a doctor’s appointment where they can provide access to condoms and birth control. Don’t just share stories of fear and consequences, sexuality is exciting and pleasurable. You want to empower your teens to make healthy choices with consent and safe practices.
READING RESOURCES
Preschool:
What Makes a Baby by Cory Silverberg
The Family Book by Todd Parr
Yes and No by Megan Madison
Love Makes a Family by Sophie Beer
Amazing You by Gail Saltz
Elementary:
Sex is a Funny Word by Cory Silverberg
It’s So Amazing by Robbie H. Harris
Middle School:
It’s Perfectly Normal by Robbie Harris
Wait, What? A Comic Book Guide to relationships, bodies, and growing up by Heather Corinna
Teenager:
S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties by Heather Corinna
Let’s Talk About It: The Teen’s Guide to Sex, Relationships, and Being a Human by Erika Moen
Reconciling a Different In Parenting Styles with Your Partner by Nabiha Hasan, LMSW
Parenting styles are things we pick up from a variety of sources, such as: parenting books, social media posts, podcasts, YouTube videos, and maybe our own parents/family members. When and if we make the decision to start our own families, the realization that it takes two to parent can be one that is eye opening and may have the ability to cause conflicts between partners. Today’s focus is going to be on how to reconcile a difference in parenting styles with your partner/spouse.
Acceptance. First things first…accept that you two are different individuals, who were raised by a different set of parents, who potentially grew up in different parts of the world (as in my situation), and will undoubtedly parent in very different ways. Going into parenthood with the notion that you and your partner will be child rearing in sync is very unrealistic and can be damaging to your relationship. Take the time to meditate if needed, particularly when you are faced with your partner doing a big parenting no-no, and approach it with a grain of salt. With some patience and communication, remember that you will do your best to be able to explain your rationale and method of parenting nonetheless, as well as how you can approach it together.
Communicate. As simple as it sounds, communicating is something that we often may put to the side or not achieve in the best way possible. Obviously, if we’re not communicating with our partner that we feel a need to discuss child rearing procedures and methods, how will we ever come to a resolution? Communicating with your partner that you feel a difference in the way you two parent your kid(s) should definitely be done in a moment of calm, not in a heightened state while your toddler is throwing a full blown tantrum because you peeled her banana and she wanted to do it herself (been there, done that!). Getting your message across is not as simple as it seems, however; you and your partner may come from varying cultural backgrounds, walks of life, and have parents who had very different ways of raising their children. Having a one-on-one conversation of how you would or would not like to tag team in parenting your children should be a very conscious one done at the proper time and in the appropriate situation.
All in all, if you are a single parent relying on family/friends for support, having this conversation with others who assist with childcare and/or child rearing can be a bit more challenging; at the end of the day, it really does take a village to raise a child. Parenting does not come with a handbook, as much as we wish it did, and the decision to have children is one that we as human beings make in very different ways according to a variety of factors, such as: finances, age, and stage of life, among other things. You are welcome to reference to any of our other articles published in the past regarding child rearing and parenting, and are always open to reaching out to any of our therapists for additional support and guidance with parenting, child development, and/or couple’s counseling if you feel that child rearing differences are affecting your relationship with your partner. Remember to use this link to reach out to us and leave your contact information so we can get back to you regarding availability and which therapist would be a good fit. We are a click away!
How Business Owners Can Cope if COVID Killed Their Business by Connor Cohen, LMSW
Owning a business is hard. Owning a business during a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic, that's even harder. As a business owner you may have been prepared for difficulties but it seems as though life gave us the toughest challenge. The pandemic changed the world, it changed how we do pretty much anything. It changed the way we communicate with others, it changed the way we work, it even changed the way that many of us shop. In truth, the pandemic has been hard on businesses. Whether it is the issue of global supply chains or issues with staffing, the pandemic has created a whole new world of business. So what do we do when this dream of ours and this goal of ours has us feeling that it has been taken away. It wasn't taken away because we didn't work hard enough, or because someone else got in the way, the dream was altered because the universe, nature, an act of God, or whatever we want to refer to this as got in the way. The pandemic has forced us all to adapt and business is no different.
In order to cope with the impact of the pandemic on your business there are a few steps that can be helpful.
Step 1: Analyze and examine just how the pandemic has impacted your business. While impact has been seen across the board, it has not always been equal. While there are large corporations bringing in record amounts of profit, countless other businesses are forced to close due to the extreme nature of the pandemic. Before fully deciding how to go about coping with these changes, we must first acknowledge just how much of an impact the state of the world has made on our business.
Step 2: Adapt. So we have examined how we have been changed by the world, now it is time for us to examine how we change in response. These adaptations and changes won't always be easy, they may even change the very nature of our business, but the dream and goal of our business is worth changing and adapting for. Now I know that we all didn't sign up for this, and we can feel frustrated and angry, disappointed, or just flat out defeated but in life change is needed. Imagine if we never changed, we would never move forward, we would never grow, and we would fail to adapt. Now I'm not saying that you have to be on the forefront of dynamic change, I'm not asking for revolutions. What I am asking for is an honest attempt to adapt. Your dream of business, your goal of business is worth that attempt.
Step 3: Slowly integrate original goals and plans accordingly as the world begins to open back up. There's a reason your original business idea made that fire under you. Chances are it was a pretty good idea, just maybe not at the most opportune time. So as we begin to collectively heal as a people, as a nation, as humanity, remember that that idea of your business inspired you for a reason. One thing that's helpful is writing down your "why". Why are you in business? Why are you doing what you do? Why do people need this business? Keep those thoughts in mind when times are tough. Keep that purpose in mind when it looks like all hope is lost.
Owning and operating a business is difficult, it will bring about countless emotions and feelings. And yet despite these difficulties we continue moving forward, we continue growing, and we continue learning. If the changes in your business have left you feeling stressed beyond what you can handle, reach out to one of our skilled therapists at Niyyah and we can help you navigate this difficult time.
Signs of Depression in Elderly People by Amanda Young, LCSW
Depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease your ability to function at work and at home.
Depression can affect anyone and it does not discriminate no matter what age, religion, socioeconomic class, ethnicity, race, or gender you identify with. There are several factors that can contribute to depression such as biochemistry, genetics, personality and environmental factors.
Depression symptoms can range from mild to severe and co-occur with other medical conditions. It can be hard to identify depression in elderly but below are some symptoms that might be overlooked due to different changes in their health. The following list are common symptoms of depression:
Feelings of sadness or having a depressed mood
Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting
Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
Loss of energy or increased fatigue
Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., inability to sit still, pacing, handwringing) or slowed movements or speech (these actions must be severe enough to be observable by others)
Feeling worthless or guilty
Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions
Thoughts of death or suicide
In addition, seniors who suffer from depression signs are fatigue, experiences changes in sleeping or eating, sadness, anxiety, trouble focusing, physical illness and mood changes in addition to the signs listed above. The main two signs are social isolation and loneliness. Seniors can be triggered by losing their spouses, feeling alone or isolated, health issues, changes in where they live, life decisions and medication that they are taking for health related issues. If you or a loved one needs further help with understanding or dealing with depression please contact our team at Niyyah Counseling PLLC, and we will be more than happy to assist you.
Coping With the Stress Infertility May Have On Your Relationship by Kathleen Chandler, LMSW, PMH-C
Infertility is a complex life crisis; research correlates it to higher rates of depression and anxiety. It is emotionally stressful, psychologically threatening, economically expensive, and it takes a physical toll. Many people experience shame, and struggle with how to talk about it, with their partner, family, and friends. If you have a partner, remember that each of you are feeling separate emotions, thoughts, wants, and needs. What stresses one partner out, may not stress the other, and vice versa. It is important to prioritize your own wellbeing, in addition to your relationship.
Here are a few tips to help you, and your partner, cope with Infertility:
Find Support
Identify who you can talk to about your infertility journey. Think of family, friends, and colleagues that could help you process the experience. The single most impactful thing you can do for your mental health is acquire social support. Join a support group with other people going through the process; you’ll feel less alone.
Identify your Stressors and Coping Mechanisms
This helps increase your self awareness. Do you have anxiety around injections? Is the two-week wait unbearable? Does the day of your beta testing cause you uncontrollable anxiety? The more aware you are of your triggers, the better you’ll be at anticipating your stressors, and developing coping strategies that work for you.
Reframe Your Thinking and Stop Catastrophizing:
Try to stay aware of your self-talk and challenge unhelpful thinking. If you catch yourself thinking, “I’ll never get pregnant”, stop the thought and replace it with a true statement: “I haven’t been pregnant yet, but I am working with a great Reproductive Endocrinology who will help us make the best treatment decision for our situation”. Instead of hyper-focusing on the worst-case scenarios, remind yourself that you don’t know what the future holds. Try asking yourself the counter question to your worst-case scenarios: “what if I never get to be a mom” might become, “what if it all works out!”. If you’re struggling with anxiety and need some help grounding yourself, check out this article by Connor Cohen, LMSW, on managing anxiety with the 3-3-3 rule!
Root Yourself in the Present
Remember to live right now. Try to prioritize doing things that bring you and your partner joy. Your life doesn’t start when you have a baby, your life is happening now. Do your best to plan meaningful activities and get them on the calendar. Make sure you both have things to look forward to!
Practice Self-Care
Take a break, take a nap, listen to music, take a bath, listen to a guided meditation, belly breathe, go for a walk outside, journal, call a friend, garden, sit by a body of water, color/paint/draw, sit in silence, go for a drive, notice your body, spend time with an animal, put your phone down or pick it up. Whatever you do, be intentional. Ask yourself what you need and do it.
Connect, Connect, Connect
Whether you need a daily 15-minute or a weekly 30-minute talk; schedule a time and duration for a stress-reducing re-connecting conversation that works for your family. When you decide how much time to allot, remember to divide the time in half; that is how much time each partner will have as the speaker and listener, as you’ll switch roles.
The Listener’s job is to:
-Focus on emotion and experience: What are you feeling right now?
-Empathize and Validate: “Of course, you feel sad, Honey. That’s normal, I feel sad too”
-Never minimize your partners experience or emotions!
The listener can ask their partner questions like:
-What was your biggest fear this week?
-What triggers have you had recently?
-What is the most upsetting to you, right now?
The Speaker’s job is to:
-Connect with the partner by naming feelings, sharing emotions and thoughts.
-Receive empathy, comfort, and love.
Therapeutic Interventions:
Psychotherapy, Interpersonal Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Couples Therapy are all evidence-based practices that can help your mental health during infertility. If you are struggling and would like some support, feel free to reach out to one of our therapists! We are just a click away!