Coping with Anxiety Related to Being Single Around New Years by Nabiha Hasan

The apple dropping in Times Square, the New Year's resolutions, the feeling of the chilly breeze, and seeing couples walk hand in hand can just about make any single person feel anxious about her or his relationship status. The holiday season in general can be triggersome, but somehow the new year can serve as a reminder that one is indeed single. Remembering a few of these tips can help you stay afloat and deal with any anxiety about being single during New Year’s Day.

Be content with being you. Learn to love yourself, and be your biggest cheerleader. Contrary to popular belief, your self worth is not defined by whether or not you are in a relationship. Your self worth is in fact determined by you and only you. You are a whole person and deserve happiness whether or not you are actively in a relationship. Society may not help in the realization of this, but one of the easiest ways to love yourself is to do more of what you enjoy doing. Taking up one of your favorite hobbies, going out to lunch by yourself (yes, that's right!), and taking a long drive while playing your favorite music are all ways for you to enjoy being alone, and not sink into any anxious feelings of being "incomplete."

Put things into perspective. Being single at the start of the new year doesn't necessarily mean that you will be single at the end too, does it? Try to remember the positives of being single, that you may miss out on when you are actually in a relationship. Stay in the present and associate with other single individuals who can relate to your situation and be a support for you during this time. 

Have faith. Whether or not you believe in a higher power doesn't have to influence the simple act of having faith. Keep in mind the hope that there is someone out there for you, on this earth of six billion people, and you will find her or him when the time is right. Remember how our earlier statement of being single on New Year's doesn't mean you will be single forever, and that in itself is a positive statement to try to keep yourself going. 

Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness exercises are extremely powerful in allowing you to experience the moment. Meditation, grounding, body scanning, and so many more options are out there for you to engage in so as to help yourself stay rooted in the present. Going on nature walks, taking note of the smell of your morning coffee, and observing the moon on a starlit night are other ways you can include mindfulness into your routine.  

Remember that our therapists at Niyyah Counseling are always here for you to help walk you through any anxious feelings that you're having. Relationships are an inherent part of life, and essential to human development, and the absence of them can definitely be stressful. Reach out to us with the click of a button, and we will walk you through these anxious thoughts you are experiencing.

How Has COVID Made it Harder for People with Anxiety Disorders? by Connor Cohen, LMSW

A once in a lifetime global pandemic. That is the reality that we are living in. This has made life difficult for everyone but for those of us with anxiety, the challenge of a global pandemic can be especially difficult. 

So what happens when our fears become justified? An anxious brain views the world through thorn covered glasses. Danger is very easy to see, and the world looks like a threat and it will hurt us. An anxious brain says “Don’t go outside”. COVID-19 has taught us in a large part, “Do not go outside”. The anxious brain says “Don’t go see friends and family, they don’t like you”. COVID has taught us “Don’t go see your friends and family, it is not safe”.  Disease and sickness are a scary part of life. Anxiety can make us feel hypersensitive to fear, disease included. 

Whether it is social anxiety or health anxiety, COVID has had a definite impact on individuals that experience anxiety. When it comes to individuals with social anxiety, we typically encourage folks with social anxiety disorder to go out there, get in public, meet people, do things to safely expose themselves in a controlled way,  and due to the state of the world, that's been pretty limited with COVID.

When it comes to health anxiety or individuals with OCD, the behaviors that are commonly recommended to keep the general public safe like washing of hands or sanitizing frequently touched surfaces can be taken to an extreme. The perceived and actualized threat of the pandemic can be a huge form of added stress for individuals coping with anxiety. 

Covid-19 and the subsequent global pandemic add a layer of anxiety to everyday life. COVID-19 essentially reinforces beliefs about isolation. When the world actually presents itself with more danger than “normal” it can be difficult to measure rational and irrational responses. With any anxiety disorder, the behaviors are not always irrational or unfounded in reason. The issue exists as anxiety being a response or over alertness to potential dangers and the actions that some may view as irrational are viewed as protective in nature. But suddenly those with anxiety are thrust  in a situation where a lot of those behaviors are being reinforced. What happens when someone who sees the world as a scary place, wakes up to monsters under the bed and around the corner? 

It is important to remember that all hope is not lost. While the pandemic and COVID-19 have led to an increase in stress across the board, there are things that we can do to help. One tool in our toolbelt is our ability to focus on aspects of life that we can and do have control over. We can control whether we wear a mask. We can choose to get the vaccine, we can choose to exercise and eat healthy. All of these factors within our control can help lessen the stress and anxiety of COVID-19 on individuals with anxiety. 

If you or a loved one are struggling with anxiety, remember to show compassion to others and yourself, the pandemic is difficult to navigate, no matter who you are. If your anxiety truly feels out of control, reach out to Niyyah Counseling to schedule a session with one of our amazing therapists. 

Tips for Parenting Adult Children by Amanda Young

Parenting is one of the most important jobs we will have as a human being. We wear that title with honor not knowing that parenting can be rewarding yet challenging. Parenting goes through different phases but I have heard adolescent years are the most challenging. I would beg to differ. Being a mom three times with different ages, I would say every stage has its challenges but parenting an adult child is the most challenging. Now you don’t necessarily have to agree with my experience but I think you would be able to identify with some of the things I mention next.

The skill of parenting is something that constantly changes depending on the age of the child and what the child needs. When it comes to parenting adult children, it can be like walking a land mine. One wrong move or response can blow up everything. The way we parent our adult children determines the quality of the relationship we will have with them moving forward. Yes, I know! You are the parent and they are the child but would you rather have someone who respects you and likes being around you or someone that doesn’t want to be around and resent you?

Knowing your boundaries and respecting them as adults goes a long way. Trusting the values, morals and lessons that you instilled in them, loving them unconditionally even in times they don’t make the right decision, shows them that you see them as an adult. So in other words, letting go so they can soar will be the right thing to do. Below are some tips to keep in mind when it comes to an adult child. 

1. Recognize and respect your differences

2. Share wisdom and insight. Be cautious of how you share information. If you are critical of them, it can damage the communication between you all. 

3. Set boundaries

4. Spend quality time with each other doing the things that you all enjoy doing.

5. Respect their relationships with their spouses or partner

6. Do not provide unsolicited advice. If they didn’t ask, don’t give.

7. Have meetings with them and family check ins

8. Keep communication lines open and learn to listen without responding to everything they say. Know your triggers. Know when to hold and when to fold. 

If you keep these tips in mind, then you will notice that you have an adult child that you respect and love. One thing that is true is that we are not always going to agree with what they do or say but we can give them room to grow. If we impede on their growth, then they could never reach their full potential and you could push them away.

Racial Trauma: Signs Symptoms and Ways to Combat It by Amanda Young, LCSW

Racial trauma is the emotional and physical symptoms that BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color), including the span of all ages, experience due to the microaggressions and racism that they experience in a variety of contexts in a span of a lifetime. Microaggressions are brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioral and environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative racial slights and insults to the target person or group” (Sue, Capodilupo, Torino, Bucceri, Holder, Nadal, et al., 2007, p. 273). Racism is defined as when someone is treated unfairly due to the basis of their skin or background, a form of discrimination. Everyday children of color are subject to traumatic events whether it is directly or indirectly. These events unfortunately happen more often than not and have a negative impact on the recipients’ mental health. Children of color witness mistreatment and differences that start as early as school age but are conditioned to not say anything out of fear of being hurt emotionally and physically. So youth of color are forced to carry this weight on their shoulders and walk through this world suppressing everything that is going on with them which leads to trauma that is accumulated over the course of their lives. Racial trauma can have lasting effects and can be life altering for youth of color.  

According to SAMHSA’s 2018 National Survey on Drug Use and Health ,despite rates being less than the overall U.S. population, major depressive episodes increased from 9 percent-10.3 percent in Black and African American youth ages 12-17, 6.1 percent to 9.4 percent in young adults 18-25, and 5.7 percent to 6.3 percent in the 26-49 age range between 2015 and 2018. The prevalence among Blacks and African Americans are less likely than white people to die from suicide at all ages. However, Black and African American teenagers are more likely to attempt suicide than White teenagers (9.8 percent v. 6.1 percent).  Due to the racial disparities in healthcare, stigma in the communities in which children of color live and the strong distrust of the majority, lack of professionals in different helping fields are some of the reasons that prevent children of color from seeking help. 

So what does it take to start the process of changing how we address children of color? First by recognizing the signs of racial trauma. Some signs of racial trauma are: ongoing emotional distress, including episodes of fear, anger, sadness, and irritability without any apparent cause, a tendency to put themselves down or assume their worth is lower than their peers, increased levels of generalized anxiety, trouble concentrating on tasks, withdrawing from social situations or having social anxiety, hypervigilance that includes jumpiness, restlessness, and heightened sensitivity to their surroundings, avoiding specific places or activities, such as school and after-school sports or clubs, difficulty accepting or following their cultural customs in public, lower self-esteem, physical symptoms, including aches and pains, appetite changes, and insomnia or other sleep problems as well as PTSD.

Although we are not able to undo the harm that has been done, we do not have to be a part of the problem. It is not enough to “not be racist”, it is vital to become Anti-racist. We can take steps to ensure that children of color are protected from continuous trauma. We can take steps of combating racial trauma by educating ourselves on children of color experiences, identifying our isms and privilege, cultivating a safe, warm, empathetic environment to communicate, validating their feelings, recognizing disparities, being genuine and seeing children of color can be the start of combating racial trauma.

What Does High Functioning Anxiety Look Like? by Connor Cohen, LMSW

Anxiety is not one size fits all. Life is often seen in black and white and yet we exist within the areas of grey. Anxiety is no different. While anxiety is far from rare and it is actually more common than we might initially realize, not everyone’s anxiety looks exactly the same. Anxiety exists on a spectrum. Anxiety can range from debilitating and near impossible to function with to high functioning and hardly even noticeable if at all able to be seen. It can also vary day to day and situation to situation. Individuals may only experience anxiety in social settings and be perfectly fine in other common panic inducing scenarios. It all just depends on the person and the situation. 

So what is high anxiety and how do we even know if it’s present? Well, high functioning anxiety is typically the term for anxiety that an individual experiences while still being able to perform their daily tasks and needed duties. High functioning anxiety is part of the reason that anxiety can be both underreported and so prevalent in our society.  On top of that, high functioning anxiety can look different from person to person. For example, someone who is traditionally viewed as a type A personality, may actually be experiencing some level of anxiety.

High functioning anxiety can look like an individual has it all together, the perfect vision of success. While always meeting deadlines and tackling the tasks before you are generally seen as a positive trait, one thing that is often the driver of this success is the fear of failure or the fear of being a disappointment. High functioning anxiety is being afraid to call in sick, people pleasing, over thinking, or even nervous habits like picking at your fingernails or cracking your knuckles.  High functioning anxiety may even look like insomnia and mental or physical fatigue. High functioning anxiety is often seen as individuals who overachieve. This perception fails to take into account the anxiety and struggle often associated with that level of success. 

Individuals with high functioning anxiety often bottle up these emotions, compartmentalizing them in order to “deal with them later” This procrastination is not just something done with their feelings, rather it often comes up in other aspects of their life as well. High functioning anxiety can be procrastinating that project out of a fear or worry or even being frozen in our actions until the last moment when that desire to achieve and the fear of failure and disappointment kicks in and we are forced to achieve in spite of that initial fear. 

If you or a loved one suspect that you struggle with high functioning anxiety, therapy can help!  Our therapists here at Niyyah can help guide you through various ways to cope with anxiety. We can help you navigate the careful journey from the positive aspects of achieving due to anxiety to achieving your goals with reduced anxiety and a greater sense of comfort. Reach out below to one of our amazing therapists today and begin your journey on the way to living more comfortably with anxiety.

Inflammation and Depression: A Surprising Link

Did you know that our minds and bodies are connected? Well, that may seem obvious, but science is beginning to understand that the connection is much stronger than we’ve understood in the past. Studies have shown that depression can increase inflammation  in the body. At this point, you may find yourself wondering,, “should I be taking an anti-inflammatory medication like ibuprofen or acetaminophen?” Well, not exactly. The studies have shown that depression is an inflammatory disease in the sense that inflammation is now an observable symptom associated with depression, not that inflammation is causing the depression. 

This is a profound and consequential discovery by scientists and mental health professionals. There is a flip side to this connection - many people may go through life with chronic pain associated with inflammation, and these bouts of chronic pain can result in depression and depressive symptoms. To put it simply -  pain is painful. When we are faced with the reality of chronic pain, we can feel trapped and hopeless at times, as if nothing will help. Experiencing depression when faced with chronic pain is a common reaction experienced by many people. This discovery may provide hope and relief for some!

While it may feel like a chicken or the egg situation where we may not be sure which was first, by acknowledging depression as a contributor to inflammation, new avenues of treatment may be possible. For example, maybe you have tried every kind of pain reliever on the market, maybe some work and some don’t. Perhaps discussing depression with a mental health professional in conjunction with anti-inflammatories could be key in reducing your inflammation and your pain. That’s pretty wild to think about! This shows just how connected our mental health is to our physical health.