Weddings represent times of love, commitment, and happiness. Our wedding day is often something that we (particularly as females) dream of and think about since childhood. Additionally, having an extravagant or large wedding may be admired in society across varying cultures. This, however, can instigate disagreements, fights, and arguments amongst family members who don’t see eye-to-eye with your ideals…whether that mean the size or grandeur of your wedding, the way you raise your children, or the style of your home. Read ahead for some tips to handle these types of family members.
You do you. At the end of the day, you are in control of the decisions you make. For individuals who are people pleasers, this is a very difficult concept to grasp. Having family members who disagree with your decisions or way of life can be extremely frustrating, but being cognizant of the fact that this is what you have decided for your life, and this decision has been made in the best interest of your family will help in coming to terms with acknowledging that this won’t change. Family members may be tumultuous for a variety of reasons, but the lack of inclusion of their part or the act of not taking their advice into consideration can be two reasons for their misunderstanding.
Explain, but stand firm. Being firm on your decision to stick to your “unconventional” wedding or home ideals will make others realize that your decision is final and won’t be changed. As someone who had a very unconventional wedding, due to having a couple of broken engagements in the past, I speak from personal experience when I give the tips mentioned in this article. Explaining won’t always help, rather it may make things worse; you will, however, be confident in knowing that you did your best to make your family members understand, and their reaction is not in your control.
Remember the ones who matter. The ones who really understand your situation, decision, and unconventional ideals will stick around and not make you feel ostracized. Think about it: are family members who make you feel inferior, have you re-considering your decision, and blaming or trashing you really worth it? Nope. Their acts come from a place of selfishness and inability to empathize with you. As someone who lost family members that were once inseparable to me due to having an unconventional wedding, I learned the hard way that those people are not worth losing my mental health and well-being over. I can also say with confidence that I wouldn’t change a single thing; my experience has helped me realize which individuals in my life will understand, and which are there to offer criticism and nothing else.
Family stressors can lead to a multitude of mental health concerns; if you feel that you are being affected adversely by those who are supposed to care for you and support your decisions, feel free to reach us at Niyyah Counseling by call, text, email, or any of our social media pages. Acceptance and moving on from a situation like this can be extremely helpful…know that our highly qualified team at Niyyah Counseling is here to help.