Social media undoubtedly has its pros as well as its cons. As a mental health therapist, a mother, and pretty much considering the multiple roles that I play, I personally have my reservations about social media and don’t hesitate to explore these considerations with my clients if they mention feeling unsure or are somehow affected by social media. As parents, there are several things which can influence our parenting styles, and the tricky thing about social media is that what you see is not always what’s behind the photo or post. Social media has an impact on parenting in several different shapes, forms, and fashions - read on to find out more about how so.

Picture perfect. Instagram posts, TikToks, Snapchat stories, and whatever else is in between are catered to show you only the ultimately perfect side of people’s lives and homes. Anyone who is a parent, however, knows that there is no part of parenting which is perfect - it can get messy, real, and just a bit complicated. Taking part in observing or trying to mimic this perfection is unhealthy, unrealistic, and can lead to damaging expectations as a parent. Noticing another mom’s spotless living room on camera, untouched kitchen, or daily color coordinated outfits with her mini me’s can cause one to rethink about priorities and possibilities.

The end goal. Ultimately, what is your role as a parent? What are some of your aspirations, goals, and hopes for your child? If you’re like most parents, the closing at the end of a long day with your little ones is not defined by whether or not your house is clean, your outfits are perfectly matching, or the number of likes you got on your most recent post - as parents, we are all striving and on this rollercoaster of parenthood together in our own separate ways in efforts to raise strong, confident, and intelligent human beings who will positively impact society and repeat the beautiful cycle of life.

You are the parent of your child. Social media parents are only parents to their own children, not to the children of the world. You know your child better than anyone else on earth, and you also know which approaches work best for her or him. A parent of three who uses the love and logic or 1-2-3 parenting style may not work for you as a parent of one, because your child’s personality and temperament are different and unique.

If you feel that social media is affecting your ability to parent or is causing you to second your capabilities as a mother or father, contact any of our therapists at Niyyah Counseling for support or to help you walk through your emotions. You are also more than welcome to check out our blog posts here on our website to read more about articles our team has written regarding the various aspects of parenting. Our therapists are trained in child development and have worked with parents of children of all ages - therapy is just a click away.

Parenting styles are things we pick up from a variety of sources, such as: parenting books, social media posts, podcasts, YouTube videos, and maybe our own parents/family members. When and if we make the decision to start our own families, the realization that it takes two to parent can be one that is eye opening and may have the ability to cause conflicts between partners. Today’s focus is going to be on how to reconcile a difference in parenting styles with your partner/spouse.

Acceptance. First things first…accept that you two are different individuals, who were raised by a different set of parents, who potentially grew up in different parts of the world (as in my situation), and will undoubtedly parent in very different ways. Going into parenthood with the notion that you and your partner will be child rearing in sync is very unrealistic and can be damaging to your relationship. Take the time to meditate if needed, particularly when you are faced with your partner doing a big parenting no-no, and approach it with a grain of salt. With some patience and communication, remember that you will do your best to be able to explain your rationale and method of parenting nonetheless, as well as how you can approach it together.

Communicate. As simple as it sounds, communicating is something that we often may put to the side or not achieve in the best way possible. Obviously, if we’re not communicating with our partner that we feel a need to discuss child rearing procedures and methods, how will we ever come to a resolution? Communicating with your partner that you feel a difference in the way you two parent your kid(s) should definitely be done in a moment of calm, not in a heightened state while your toddler is throwing a full blown tantrum because you peeled her banana and she wanted to do it herself (been there, done that!). Getting your message across is not as simple as it seems, however; you and your partner may come from varying cultural backgrounds, walks of life, and have parents who had very different ways of raising their children. Having a one-on-one conversation of how you would or would not like to tag team in parenting your children should be a very conscious one done at the proper time and in the appropriate situation.

All in all, if you are a single parent relying on family/friends for support, having this conversation with others who assist with childcare and/or child rearing can be a bit more challenging; at the end of the day, it really does take a village to raise a child. Parenting does not come with a handbook, as much as we wish it did, and the decision to have children is one that we as human beings make in very different ways according to a variety of factors, such as: finances, age, and stage of life, among other things. You are welcome to reference to any of our other articles published in the past regarding child rearing and parenting, and are always open to reaching out to any of our therapists for additional support and guidance with parenting, child development, and/or couple’s counseling if you feel that child rearing differences are affecting your relationship with your partner. Remember to use this link to reach out to us and leave your contact information so we can get back to you regarding availability and which therapist would be a good fit. We are a click away!