There is no such thing as perfect parenting; we all make mistakes! Some parents are trying their very best to be empathetic and nurturing. Other parents are not aware they are actively harming their children (some are aware). A lot of people parent their children how they were parented without giving much thought to patterns and cycles of abuse.
It is important that we are reflective about how we were parented (what we liked and what we didn’t) and how we are currently parenting (what we feel we are doing well and what we could be working on).
Below are some common parenting traits we should all try to avoid:
Physical Abuse: Physically harming your child out of anger or frustration. You cannot control your emotional response to hit, pinch, slap, spank, kick (or any other form of physical discipline) when your child frustrates or angers you.
Overreacting: You fly off the handle easily and are emotionally out-of-control. Something small might be blown out of proportion and then you become overly frustrated, angry, and/or verbally abusive.
Controlling: You are incredibly controlling with unreasonable demands and expectations. You might find yourself getting into power struggles with your children and micromanaging them.
Critical: You rarely have a positive thing to say about, or to, your child. You offer more “feedback” than praise or neutral statements. You criticize things like clothing, choice of friends, sports performance, physical appearance.
Bullying: You mock your child and/or make fun of them for their likes, dislikes, fears, dreams, accomplishments, failures, and who they are as a person.
Self-Centered: Always putting the needs of self, over the needs of the child. Cannot be the “bigger person” in a disagreement and “must win” because “you are the parent”.
Gaslighting: Even when you know your child is right, you tell them they are wrong, or say it never happened the way they recall it.
Dismissive: You tend to dismiss your child’s negative emotions. You tell them to stop crying and or that their feelings do not matter.
Emotionally unavailable: You rarely exhibit warmth and kindness to your child. You do not provide them with loving emotional support. You’re all about “business”.
If you find yourself struggling with any of the above, don’t beat yourself up! In fact, read this article: https://www.niyyahcounselingpllc.com/blog/how-to-make-peace-with-parenting-mistakes-by-nabiha-hasan-lmsw. There! Did you read it? Now try to give yourself some grace and then get to work!
Click here https://www.niyyahcounselingpllc.com/our-team to read the bios of our therapists. Pick out a couple of therapists who may be a good fit for you and schedule a free 15-minute consultation. Every parent could use a little guidance and support; parenting is hard. Reach out today!