Anxiety has a tendency to touch a lot of areas of our lives. Anxiety tends to pop up in school with worry about tests and social friendships. Anxiety can lurk around work with fears of not doing well enough or worry about getting along with co-workers. So is it really any wonder that anxiety can impact our relationships?

Relationship anxiety can exist in many ways. Whether it’s anxiety about forming a relationship, or the start of a relationship or anxiety about continuing a relationship or anxiety experienced in the context of a relationship, many of these feelings are in fact quite common! Some people experience relationship anxiety during the start of a relationship, before they know their partner has an equal interest in them. Or, they might be unsure if they even want a relationship.

But these feelings can also come up in committed, long-term relationships. Most people feel a little insecure about their relationship at some point, especially in the early stages of dating and forming a commitment. This isn’t unusual.

Relationship anxiety can look like

Wondering if you matter to your partner
Doubting your partner’s feelings for you
Worrying they want to break up
Doubting long-term compatibility
Sabotaging the relationship
Reading too deep into their words and actions
Missing out on the good times due to worry

So what do we do if we are experiencing relationship anxiety?

Start with open and honest communication. Anxiety often has us doubting our thoughts, our partner’s thoughts and even their words and actions. One way to combat this is to encourage open communication. Even if our brain doesn’t necessarily believe the communication at first, being open and honest can lead to a reduction in worry over time once our brain trusts that we are safe.

Another great way to cope with relationship anxiety is practice mindfulness. Being aware of our thoughts and feelings and creating space between those thoughts and our actions can help lessen the control our thoughts have on us. When those impulsive thoughts pop up, try to distract yourself with some deep breathing, a walk or jog, or a quick phone call to a close friend.

Finally another way to combat these relationship anxieties is to contact a therapist. Here at Niyyah, we have a team of wonderful therapists that can help guide you through your relationship anxieties and help you capture that version of yourself that is confident and secure in your relationships. If you or a loved one are struggling with relationship anxiety, reach out to us today! Learn more and connect with us here at our site! https://www.niyyahcounselingpllc.com/contactus

It's normal to fight. It's normal to feel angry. It's normal to get frustrated. It is normal to have conflict. This is especially true when it comes to those that we love. Any time we spend with the same people over and over, we're bound to ruffle some feathers. They can be the best person in the world oh, our favorite person, the love of our life, and yet we can be in conflict with them. Even when we agree 100% (which let's face it, probably doesn't happen) we can still feel the flames of conflict creeping up. So what do we do when we are in conflict with her significant other? Do we yell and scream? Do we bottle it all up and hold it inside only for it to come out one day? In a perfect world, we would have other ways to deal with this conflict. We would always know just what to say, we open and upfront with our emotions, we would be understanding of our partner's perspective and conflicts would feel just like a small bump in the road or if you are just slightly turning the steering wheel to avoid a hazard. And while we may not live in a perfect world, we can still respond to conflict in a way that honors both our self and our partner and each of our perspectives within the conflict.

Step one: Take a step back. Oftentimes In the heat of the moment when the flames of conflict are highest, we can forget that the person that we're arguing with is the one that we love. We forget all those soft and Sweet Moments with them, we forget how they were there for us in our darkest moments, we forget how they make us laugh and how they make us smile, all we see in this moment is the conflict. We see right and wrong black and white. Now it's natural to want to be correct, I think we all enjoy being right but sometimes in the moment taking a step back, maybe even physically to remind ourselves that there is more in the relationship than this one moment of conflict can be super important to helping us navigate the conflict.

Step Two: Remember that it is you and your partner versus the conflict. As we've already discussed we can often feel as though it is us versus them, their ideas versus ours. But there's another perspective to take. If we can detach ourselves from the conflict of the heat of the moment of the emotions of the moment, we can see that both sides want a resolution. In conflict we both want the same goal, we just have different visions of how to get there. The sooner we see that we both want the same things, the sooner we realize we can work together to get those things. It would be like if you thought the best way to get to work is taking the highway to the left and your partner views the best way as the highway to the right. The second you realize that you both simply want to find the easiest way to work, we can begin to build on mutual ground.

Step Three: If needed when emotions are high, set aside time for 5 and 10 minute breaks. Oftentimes strong emotions bring on strong emotions. Big reactions get even bigger reactions. If during a conflict or argument feelings are just escalating, set aside time to step away. This not only gives each person time to really think about what they're trying to say, but it also gives time for our logical brain to kick back on after utilizing our emotional brain. When we fight our emotional brain takes over, by giving space and time away from the strong emotions and feelings and conflict, new perspectives can be better appreciated. In the heat of the moment We may not be open to hearing what our partner believes is the best option but after five or 10 minutes away we may start to consider it or we may even be more open to it than before.

Step four: If needed, reach out for help. It's not always easy navigating conflict and arguments and fights. If conflict was easy I don't think it would be called conflict. If you and a loved one feel as though your conflicts create tension and displeasure with the relationship, our wonderful therapist here at Niyyah would be more than happy to provide an impartial and fair helping hand. Reach out today to schedule your session today and learn how to better manage relational conflict.