Do you have to love parenting 24/7 like in TV and movies? By Amanda Young, LCSW

Absolutely not! Parenting is one of the most important assignments that you will have in your life that will feel like it is not complete. Having someone to choose you and be solely dependent on you until they are of adult age, sometimes longer, can be very challenging.  I believe that we tend to fantasize about parenting and don’t understand how draining it could be emotionally, mentally and physically. Growing up we all might have wondered about being parents due to the influence of our parents or grandparents. Based on our experience or observation of our own parents, might have prompted us to think parenting isn’t too bad.  Due to our parents and grandparents, it seemed like being a parent was like a cake walk right? Being oblivious to the challenges,  not knowing that the assignment is heavily weighted with responsibilities, obstacles, tests and more importantly unconditional love which would evoke every emotion in us. 

 We might believe that being a parent, you have to do everything right and love your job as a parent and kids all the time. Witnessing other parent’s having meltdowns, storming off from their kids or simply not wanting to be bothered is absurd. Thinking to ourselves while watching other parents, saying, “this is what you signed up for and you should not show frustration or tell your kid that you “don’t be like them today” is something we might not understand. Oh I will never do that because I love my kids. But the reality is we are all human and we live in the real world. 

There are different stages of parenting, (commander, coach, counselor and consultant.) we will encounter that and will have you asking yourself. “What was I thinking?” during the most challenging ones. Some of us are able to make it through the stages with minimal challenges while others weather a variety of challenges. These challenges will either make us or break us. There are times that we would like to forget about being a parent, escape the responsibilities and enjoy some alone time but most importantly some quiet time. And guess what, that is ok!

Parenting didn’t come with a definite 100 percent happiness stamp. There are no guarantees while weather the different stages.  There is no cookie cutter way to parent a child because they are different. There is no correct way to brainstorm problems or to problem solve when issues arise.  So to be honest, no it is not ideal or realistic to think that we will love parenting 24/7 and that is ok. We are human and imperfect beings. Just show up and do your best. If you don’t like the task of parenting all the time, that is ok, the world will not end. You are doing great!