Coping with Relationship Anxiety

Anxiety has a tendency to touch a lot of areas of our lives. Anxiety tends to pop up in school with worry about tests and social friendships. Anxiety can lurk around work with fears of not doing well enough or worry about getting along with co-workers. So is it really any wonder that anxiety can impact our relationships?

Relationship anxiety can exist in many ways. Whether it’s anxiety about forming a relationship, or the start of a relationship or anxiety about continuing a relationship or anxiety experienced in the context of a relationship, many of these feelings are in fact quite common! Some people experience relationship anxiety during the start of a relationship, before they know their partner has an equal interest in them. Or, they might be unsure if they even want a relationship.

But these feelings can also come up in committed, long-term relationships. Most people feel a little insecure about their relationship at some point, especially in the early stages of dating and forming a commitment. This isn’t unusual. 

Relationship anxiety can look like

1. Wondering if you matter to your partner

2. Doubting your partner’s feelings for you

3. Worrying they want to break up

4. Doubting long-term compatibility

5. Sabotaging the relationship

6. Reading too deep into their words and actions

7. Missing out on the good times due to worry

So what do we do if we are experiencing relationship anxiety?

Start with open and honest communication. Anxiety often has us doubting our thoughts, our partner’s thoughts and even their words and actions. One way to combat this is to encourage open communication. Even if our brain doesn’t necessarily believe the communication at first, being open and honest can lead to a reduction in worry over time once our brain trusts that we are safe. 

Another great way to cope with relationship anxiety is practice mindfulness. Being aware of our thoughts and feelings and creating space between those thoughts and our actions can help lessen the control our thoughts have on us. When those impulsive thoughts pop up, try to distract yourself with some deep breathing, a walk or jog, or a quick phone call to a close friend.

Finally another way to combat these relationship anxieties is to contact a therapist. Here at Niyyah, we have a team of wonderful therapists that can help guide you through your relationship anxieties and help you capture that version of yourself that is confident and secure in your relationships. If you or a loved one are struggling with relationship anxiety, reach out to us today! Learn more and connect with us here at our site! https://www.niyyahcounselingpllc.com/contactus 

Can Apps Actually Help You With Anxiety?

Anxiety: there’s an app for that…well, actually there are several! In today’s day and age, there seems to be an app for everything. Need a taxi? There’s an app! Ordering groceries? There’s an app. Dating? Guess what! Another app. It’s no wonder that apps are now attempting to tackle our mental health and anxiety. But do they work?

Yes* (you’ll notice the asterisk there). Not all apps are created equal! Headspace, Calm, and Moodkit can do wonders for our anxiety and mental health. However, it is important to know when to use these apps and when to speak to a professional. According to a 2018 study, mental health apps may help improve monitoring and management of various mental health conditions. Further research showed that the ease of use, and accessibility, allowed for increased engagement with treatment plans. 

I view apps as a supplement you may take, like vitamin C. Vitamins don’t replace the food that we eat, just like these apps are not designed to replace professional help from therapists. Apps are wonderful at introducing people to concepts, like anxiety, and even acting as helpful tools to utilize on your mental health journey. An app is very different from having a mental health professional in your corner. Apps are designed be very broad in order to cast a wide enough net to connect with the most amount of people. Oftentimes, apps can feel so broad, that some parts may not resonate with us. Others may feel as though the focus is so narrow, that we may not be able to relate to how it’s trying to help our mental health and anxiety. 

This is where mental health professionals come in. We have the unique ability to take our experience and professional knowledge and funnel it in such a way that speaks to you and your anxiety directly. While these apps are helpful, they don’t replace being able to process our thoughts and feelings out loud with a trained professional. If you or a loved one are struggling with anxiety, it may be time to seek professional help. Niyyah Counseling is here to help! Our therapists are trained to help guide you through the various anxieties that life throws at us. Click here to find your new therapist today! Click Here To Find Your Therapist

If you enjoyed this blog, you can even schedule with me directly. You can find my page here. I specialize in helping my clients on their own unique journey with anxiety. While chronic anxiety can often feel like a lifelong sentence, therapy can help guide you through a variety of techniques to address and reduce your anxiety symptoms! By utilizing an eclectic approach that pulls from scientific and evidence-based practices, therapy can help guide you from a fear of “what if” to an actualization of what can be!

Coping With Anxiety About Returning Diseases Like Polio By Connor Cohen, LMSW

In 2022 it can certainly feel like another day, another problem or another thing to be worried about. Each day as we turn on the news there seems to be more and more to worry about.  Global pandemics, climate change, inflation, recession the list seems to go on and on. And now the news says that polio is on the rise. 

No one would blame you if you're worried about polio,  the name alone elicits a response with the images of small children needing assistance to walk and visions of the iron lung helping keep people alive in the 1950's. While these are potential outcomes of polio, they don't quite tell the whole story. According to the CDC "About 1 out of 4 people (or 25 out of 100) with poliovirus infection will have flu-like symptoms." CDC (2022). These symptoms include sore throat, fever, tiredness, nausea, headache, and stomach pain. Also according to the CDC, those stereotypical symptoms of polio are rarer than some may think. "A smaller proportion of people with poliovirus infection will develop other, more serious symptoms that affect the brain and spinal cord" (CDC 2022). The most recent statistics as of the writing of this blog are as follows, meningitis occurs in about 5 out of 100 and paralysis occurs  in about 1 out of 200 people to 1 in 2000 people, depending on virus type. 

So what can we do if we're still anxious and worried about polio? 

Step one is to get informed. It may sound cliche but knowledge is in fact power and oftentimes the more we can understand the situation the less we tend to fear it. 

Step two:  Talk to your loved ones or doctor about your medical records.  If you were born after 1955 there's a good chance that you've already been vaccinated against polio.  If you have not received the vaccine,  start up a conversation with your health care professional about obtaining the vaccine.

Step three:  Now that you have gathered the needed information and potentially made a plan to get vaccinated,  it can be helpful to unplug from the news.  This doesn't mean sticking our head in the sand and avoiding completely.  What it means is being purposeful with the news that we are taking in.  A helpful tip would be to pick a specific news source that you trust and select a time that you would like to view each day.  In today's day and age it can be so easy to become overwhelmed by the massive amount of news so by limiting our intake strategically,  we can still be informed and limit our feelings of being overwhelmed.

Step four:  Take some time to relax.  Life in 2022 tends to be more on the stressful side. While taking time away from the news, practice self care! That could be physical exercise, eating well or a nice book that you've been meaning to read. 

Step five: Engage with your feelings and examine how you feel. Anxiety can make it feel like life is overwhelming and life can certainly present us with reasons to feel anxious. If you or a loved one are struggling with anxiety, it may be time to seek professional help. Niyyah Counseling is here to help! Our therapists are trained to help guide you through the various anxieties that life throws at us. Click here to find your new therapist today! Click Here To Find Your Therapist

If you enjoyed this blog, you can even schedule with me directly. You can find my page here. I specialize in helping my clients on their own unique journey with anxiety. While chronic anxiety can often feel like a lifelong sentence, therapy can help guide you through a variety of techniques to address and reduce your anxiety symptoms! By utilizing an eclectic approach that pulls from scientific and evidence-based practices, therapy can help guide you from a fear of “what if” to an actualization of what can be!

Coping with Anxiety About the Predicted Recession

Money. It’s pretty important. We sell things for it, we trade hours of our time for it. It is used to secure food and water, it is used to house our loved ones. Our society is run on money. So it’s no wonder that we would feel an emotional response to money. Money is often said to be the root of all evil, but could it also be a root of anxiety?

With all of the importance we tend to place on money, it’s no wonder that it takes up a lot of space in our collective consciousness. We can often find ourselves worrying about not having enough money, worrying about our next paycheck, worrying about our bills that come due each month time and time again. But what if our anxiety is broader than our own personal accounts? 

What if we find ourselves worried about a recession? The state of the economy can be the cause of a lot of stress and anxiety even if we don’t work on wall street. A recession can bring about concerns of our wellbeing and create a general sense of uneasiness. Here are some steps to help cope with anxiety about a predicted recession. 

Step 1: Remember that recessions are cyclical. 

While recessions can be scary. They are completely natural. On average a recession occurs in the United States every 6 or so years. 

Step 2: Examine your fears.

Talk about your fears, such as “I’m worried about a recession,” and then ask yourself, “Then what would happen?” Continue on from there, so if the answer to the first question was “I may lose my job,” ask yourself “Then what would happen?” Keep running all the scenarios from there. The more we understand our fears, the more we can create a plan to address them. 

Step 3: Make a plan

Anxiety lives and dwells in the what-if. Anxiety grows with the unknown. So naturally, a great way to reduce anxiety can be to create a plan so that the unknown becomes known. 

Anxiety is difficult, and let’s face it, in today’s day and age a lot of our anxiety tends to be justified and make sense. It is completely normal to worry about your financial future, but it is also completely normal to seek out help. 

If you or a loved one are struggling with anxiety during these times of economic uncertainty, Niyyah Counseling can help! Our therapists can help guide you through your anxious thoughts and teach you strategies to reduce the impact of those anxious thoughts.

How To Manage Dating Anxiety By Connor Cohen, LMSW

Dating can be scary.  There's a lot of pressure nowadays to date and hopefully find the right person.  We can definitely feel overwhelmed. Anxiety can pop up in the dating scene any number of ways. Maybe we worry if this person sitting across from us at the table likes us, or maybe we worry about saying the wrong thing or not knowing what the right thing is to say.  Maybe we are worried about how we look and how this person thinks about us.  Or maybe we are worried that we won't find someone,  maybe anxiety lives in us  in such a way our worry is that all of our friends are coupling up and finding their loved ones, creating families, and moving on in life.  Maybe our dating anxiety is about feeling left behind so we feel this immense pressure internally to find someone.  Maybe that pressure is external, maybe our anxieties are rooted from family members asking "when are you going to find someone?"  "When will you finally settle down?".  There can be a lot of different pressures with dating both internal and external. So how do we cope with this anxiety of dating? 

I would say that step one is to focus on you.  Really look inward and examine what it is you want.  What do you want out of a relationship, what do you want out of a partner?  Asking yourself key questions can help us figure out which way to go and what exactly we're looking for.  Questions like, what is a good partner?  What is a healthy relationship? 

Step two  is simple on paper but often forgotten about.  Step two is to remember that you and any person you decide to date are human.  With dating and trying to find a wife or a husband or even just a long-term partner,  it is easy to get caught up in this idea that we have to be perfect.  It's easy to fall into the trap of “I have to be perfect for this person to love me”.  When we chase perfection we forget our humanity.  To be human is to be imperfect. 

Step 3 is also difficult at times.  And that's to be open and honest. Open honesty is  not only for prospective partners but ourselves. Not only do we owe it to them to be honest, we owe it to ourselves.  If you're not clicking with an individual,  be honest,  if you are intimidated by an upcoming date,  again be honest.  A lot of anxiety lives in the feeling that we can't let other people see our anxiety, it will scare them away. But by being honest about our feelings, we can gain back a sense of control over our emotions and feelings and ultimately our anxiety. 

Overall dating can be scary,  it can cause a lot of anxiety.  At the end of the day one key thing to remember is that if you want a relationship to work, you're going to want your partner to see the real you.  So always remember to be yourself.  If you are a loved one struggling with anxiety we are here to help.  Your friendly neighborhood therapist can help guide you through these anxieties.

Can Stress Cause Bad Dreams? By Connor Cohen, LMSW

Anxiety is difficult. It can turn our days into moments of panic, you can turn our nights into tossing and turning worried about tomorrow.  It can wrap our brain in ruminating thoughts, it can have us thinking about the worst case scenario on the worst day at the worst time. Anxiety creates stress and stress creates anxiety. This endless loop can take over our day and make it so that we have a difficult time functioning. You can feel as though our only reprieve from this endless loop is a good night's rest. But does this stress in this anxiety impact us even while we sleep? Does stress cause bad dreams?

Sleep is our body's time to recharge,  it is a time when we rest and recuperate.  Rest is when we heal.  If you sprain your ankle, the best way to heal it is to stay off it.  This means that the best way to heal still at the muscles rest in a way it's to let them sleep.  But just like how we can dream of a bug bite and we wake up and we realize that maybe your arm is being pinched. Our brain and our body are deeply connected.  So what does this mean for stress and dreams? Well, it means that stress in our waking world can create stress in our sleeping world.  Our body uses sleep to process things, to get things in order. If we are stressed during the day, maybe by bills or work assignments or school work,  our brain is going to react to that stress even after we try to sleep.  It is going to try to process that stress.  Almost like a boat in the ocean, stress is the water.  At times it may find a small hole to leak into the boat with,  and other times it may feel like a huge tidal wave feels like it'll knock the boat over.  We spend so much energy and time during the day to move the sails,  adjust our heading,  maybe even row a bit.  But at night our boat is still on the water.  Our brain is still trying to keep us afloat.  In times of stress our brain is less able to rest. The waters are choppy and those bad dreams are the brain's attempt to navigate that choppy water while we're asleep. 

So what do we do about these bad dreams and the stress?  Well, that's where coping skills come in.  That's where relaxation comes in.  Stress is not easy if it was, it probably wouldn't be  stressful.  By doing things during the day that reduce our levels of stress our brain can navigate calmer waters at night.  If you find yourself stressed during the day and impacted by bad dreams, try writing down all of your thoughts before bed. The act of writing them out can help us better organize our thoughts, it also gives us a place to put these thoughts before bed. Meaning that we don't necessarily have to take them to sleep with us. It's almost like writing out our thoughts allows us to put them away for the moment. Put them away for the night and detach from the stress even if it's just for a night.

If you or a loved one are struggling with stress,  know that you are not alone.  Stress unfortunately is one thing that makes us all human.  It can be difficult to navigate stress but our therapists are here to help.  Reach out today and schedule an appointment and maybe you'll find that you sleep a little better tonight. 

Coping with Fear Caused By Threats Against Roe v. Wade. By: Amanda Young, LCSW

On January 22, 1973, the U.S. Supreme Court announced its decision in Roe v. Wade, a challenge to a Texas statute that made it a crime to perform an abortion unless a woman’s life was at stake. The case had been filed by “Jane Roe,” an unmarried woman who wanted to safely and legally end her pregnancy. Siding with Roe, the court struck down the Texas law. In its ruling, the court recognized for the first time that the constitutional right to privacy “is broad enough to encompass a woman’s decision whether or not to terminate her pregnancy” (Roe vs Wade).

It has been forty years since Roe vs Wade was first put in place to protect women's right to choose.. Since the law was passed, it has been challenged and restricted by individuals who should not have the right to do so. The past few years women have had a front seat by watching the news, men making decisions who are incapable of understanding the conception of life and women who are beside the men who are allowing this to happen. It is a very sad but yet scary thing to be living to witness the limitations that are being placed upon women’s rights. You might  feel scared, mad, sad, let down, powerless and anxious about women rights being infringed on. You might have thoughts about what you can do or where you start to ensure that women rights are being protected.  So many emotions and thoughts are not easy to manage but what can you do? 

Changes in the makeup of the Supreme Court have contributed to the threat against Roe vs Wade. Men who cannot begin to understand the woman anatomy down to conception are making decisions based on what they think to be true but do not understand what women are faced with or challenges they have encountered. While we are waiting on the unknown,  we can  do a few things to cope with fear of Roe vs Wade to be overturned.  Below are some tips,

1. Get involved with a local organization that is interested in Roe vs Wade.-getting involved will help you feel a part of like minded people who are also passionate and have the same common goal.

2. Support groups-Offer support and can be around people who provide a safe, relatable, environment to speak openly about your feelings. 

3. Practice mindfulness-helps you to become centered, aware and refocus. 

4. Limiting yourself from the news-putting limits in place will allow you time to breathe from the noise.

5. Continue to eat a  well balanced meal-keeps your body and mind energize

6. Continue your exercise regime-will help to reduce stress and increase your mood.

7. Talk to a professional to help you cope with your fears- will help you reflect, explore and give you tools to take care of yourself mentally while going through this tough time

Niyyah Counseling has therapists who specialize in various areas and treatment modalities that are willing to help. Please give us a call today for a free consultation https://www.niyyahcounselingpllc.com/.

Signs of Workplace Anxiety by Connor Cohen, LMSW

Anxiety doesn't really stop at the front door. And that goes for either side of the door. Anxiety doesn't necessarily stop when we get home from a long day, nor does it necessarily stop when we start our day by walking out that door. Anxiety can be at home, at school and even at work. Workplace anxiety can make work a really uncomfortable place to be. Given the state of the world in the global pandemic,  workplace anxiety  can even create home anxiety because many of us work from home.  Workplace anxiety can make life difficult as we tend to spend a lot of time at work. So what is workplace anxiety?

Well, workplace anxiety can look like irritability at work, constant worry about workplace tasks, or losing interest in your work.  This anxiety can even impact your physical health.  Workplace anxiety can lead to trouble sleeping, difficulty concentrating or remembering things, or even over eating or under eating.  Workplace anxiety can lead to what I call  Sunday sadness.  It's that feeling you get when you know that you have to get up for work tomorrow. That feeling that the weekend is over and that tomorrow is an early day with meetings or calls or spreadsheets. Sunday sadness is that feeling you get when dread kicks in.  It's that feeling that you would do anything for there to be another day in the weekend and one less during the week.  It's that feeling of disappointment.  That sad realization of "well here we go again".

So what do we do about workplace anxiety? Well,  there are several different avenues to attack this.  For some, that means finding a different job.  Something that fills up your cup rather than drains it.  For others,  It may be an adjustment that is needed.  This can look like adjusting your schedule to better fit your lifestyle and work life balance.  It could also look like making sure we make time for ourselves outside of work.  This could look like exercising, eating well,  enjoying a hobby,  or really anything that just brings a smile to your face. Workplace anxiety tends to strike most when work becomes life.  So by creating a distinction between working and home life we can begin to address workplace anxiety.  Another route to address workplace anxiety is to speak with your employer.  Kind of like that old saying goes oh, the squeaky wheel gets the oil.  No one is going to know there's a problem in this we make it known that there's a problem.   Perhaps there is a facet of your job that you enjoy more than another. Maybe you feel energized working on one task whereas other areas of your work make you feel drained.  By bringing this to the attention of your employer,  there is a possibility that workplace responsibilities can be adjusted.

Overall, working is difficult. We spend a lot of time at work, we put a lot of pressure on our work and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Work is such a big part of our lives it's no wonder we can feel anxious about it. But if you are a loved one or struggling with workplace anxiety and are not sure what to do,  reach out to our team here at Niyyah and we will gladly help guide you through your workplace anxiety.

What To Do If Lifted Mask Mandates Make You Nervous By Amanda Young, LCSW

Can you say a Pandemic? What is that? What does that mean? All of these questions came to mind when we first heard the news about the pandemic. The last two years have been hard for everyone. The world coming to a complete stop, our lives being turned upside down and adjusting to the new normal can have a negative impact on everyone. We as human beings do not like to be forced to do things that we do not have a say in or chose to do. Having to stay in shelter, work from home, helping the kids stay in tune with school, sanitize or wash your hands and having to wear an uncomfortable mask when you venture out was a little  too much to handle physically but most importantly mentally.

Braving the stores while dodging sneezing and wiping down everything we touch to avoid contracting covid while trying to maintain our composure was difficult. Then it happens, hesitancy to go places, nervous about a cough or a running nose or even thinking that we have covid. Anxiety during the pandemic was at an all time high. I believe that it is safe to say that the majority if not all suffered from anxiety. Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. So we went through all of that and had a front row seat for two years from complete to partial to our world opening all the way back up.  

Now the world we live in has opened back up and we are starting to go out with the knowledge that covid still exists, there is still a bit of uneasiness. Mask mandates are lifted but there are people who prefer to continue to wear their mask whereas some have dumped them with no hesitancy. We all are having to learn how to live with the new normal which does not help our anxiety. When going out into the world some things we can do to reduce our anxiety are as follows:

• Continuing to wear your mask-If this is what you are most comfortable with at this time, this is perfectly ok.

• Staying updated on CDC news-Center of Disease and Control gives us updates on the guidelines for the virus that's science based and tips to navigate the world with the virus.

• Consider getting the shot and booster- the shot is the best protection of the virus. The likelihood of you becoming seriously ill is low.

• Live your life as you know fits-this is your life and everyone lives differently. Do what makes you comfortable and not try to be apart or do things that don’t make you comfortable. 

• Gaining insight into your anxiety-understanding your triggers or the root cause of your anxiety will help you become more equipped with handling it. 

If your anxiety is impacting your daily life and things you have put in place are no longer working, you can give us a call. Our therapists at Niyyah Counseling PLLC ,are trained and willing to assist. Please give us a call, we are here to help. https://www.niyyahcounselingpllc.com/our-team

How Disabled or Immunocompromised People Can Manage Growing Anxiety Over Lifted Mask Mandates by Kathleen Chandler, LMSW, PMH-C

First, I want to validate your experience. You are experiencing anxiety from a real threat, not a perceived threat. Mask mandates have lifted, and depending on where you live, transmission may be moderate to high, while variant BA.2. is on the rise. While we can wish the pandemic was handled differently, it is ultimately out of our control. Therefore, it is important that you stay focused on what IS in your control. You still have plenty of options to keep yourself safe!

What can you do?

Stay up to date on vaccination and boosters: immunocompromised people are currently approved for a 2nd booster. Go get that booster!

Continue wearing your N95/KN95 masks, or respirator, when you are around people outside of your household. If someone gives you side-eye, just ignore them, keep that mask on and stay safe!

Have a plan for rapid and PCR testing: ask people to take a rapid test before unmasking indoors with them.

Consider avoiding non-essential indoor activities that are risky and could expose you.

Keep that distance! Continue to stay 6ft away from people in public when you can.

Keep the time short! Remember that time spent in risky situations increases chances of exposure. Doing something risky for 90 minutes is riskier than doing it for 9 minutes.

Talk to your healthcare provider about whether you are a good candidate for monoclonal antibodies or oral antivirals.

The past two years have been incredibly challenging, and it is just as important to take care of your mental health, as it is to keep yourself safe. Here are some tips to reduce anxiety, improve mood, and manage stress:

·Find your community and engage at your comfort level. Whether that is on Zoom, an outdoor gathering, or indoors with trusted friends; you get to decide what feels right for you. Figure out what you are comfortable with and then make regular time to be in community. We are social creatures! We need connection! Don’t stay completely isolated! 

Practice self-care! Do things that will benefit you in the long run, even if you don’t feel like it right now. Spend time outdoors daily. Move your body in a way the feels good for you. Eat foods you enjoy and make you feel nourished. Make time to take care of yourself!

Find joy! Try thinking of things that fill your spirit, feel pleasant, and are enjoyable. Make sure these things are in your life! Notice that warm sun radiating on your cheek, really taste that sweet rich decadent chocolate, be aware of how good it feels to laugh with friends. It doesn’t need to be BIG JOY, small doses of daily joy throughout the day very impactful. If you can’t think of the last time you felt joy, schedule time for it, and be mindful of how it feels to experience it.

Practice Gratitude. It is easy to forget the things we are grateful when we are suffering with low mood and anxiety. Think of three things daily that you are grateful for!

Strengthen Coping Skills: Practice breath work, mindfulness, and guided meditations.

Click here to learn specific exercises to help relieve anxiety. https://www.niyyahcounselingpllc.com/blog/specific-exercises-to-help-relieve-anxiety-by-connor-cohen-lmsw  You can also download this free app that was created to help support self-care and overall mental health during the pandemic: https://www.ptsd.va.gov/appvid/mobile/COVID_coach_app.asp

Reach out for professional help if you need more support during this time! Niyyah Counseling has several therapists ready to help support you. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation today! https://www.niyyahcounselingpllc.com/our-team