Relationships are a natural, developmental, and transitional part of life; it is often a life goal to be in a healthy, loving, and stable relationship. We humans often spend our lives searching and waiting for “the one.” For a variety of reasons, however, relationships can end up being traumatic, which leaves an impact or scar for the person on the receiving end. Healing from relationship trauma can be draining, an emotional roller coaster, and can leave a person feeling lost and confused. In the following, you’ll learn more about how to begin the process of you’ve been affected by a traumatic relationship, or how to help someone you know who has been impacted by one.
The past is the past. Acknowledge that the traumatic relationship has ceased, and be grateful that you are safe and sound. Though easier said than done, it can be tricky to move on from something which was once your emotional investment, but acceptance is the first step. Remembering that the past has occurred, there is nothing that can be done to change it, and that mistakes will be learned from is the key to moving forward. You may find yourself being triggered by seeing couples around you or by the commercialization of Valentine’s Day everywhere you turn. Remember though, that staying in the past can lead to depression, and focusing on the future is a precursor for anxiety.
Every relationship is not this one. Your mindset is very powerful in determining your future. As human beings, we need connection, and eventually, the time for a new relationship will come. Whenever this time does come, one of the most important things you can tell yourself is that no two relationships are the same. Defining all future relationships by the traumatic one you have experienced is going to be a harmful way of thinking, and may lead to unhealthy patterns going forward. A new relationship is going to be a fresh start - do make sure you take your time in healing from the past one before you step foot in another. Rushing into a relationship due to feeling incomplete, alone, or dissatisfied will not be healthy for you or your partner.
Have faith. Have faith in life and in your future. Pray, reflect, ponder over the number of people there are in the world, and think about how there ought to be someone, somewhere out there who is destined for you. Not all relationships are traumatic; yes, there are indeed some very toxic ones. Nonetheless, knowing the warning signs of unhealthy relationships will be of benefit for you to utilize either for yourself or for someone else.
If you feel that you are struggling to heal from your relationship trauma and need assistance in moving forward, don’t hesitate to reach out to us at Niyyah Counseling. We have highly experienced therapists who will work with you through identifying and getting past the trauma from your toxic relationship. Additionally, if you experienced domestic violence in your relationship or feel unsafe, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233 right away. You do not have to walk this journey alone, and support is just a click away.