Nowadays, it seems that there’s a parenting trend for every letter of the alphabet. News feeds, blogs, and posts are often flooded with the newest way of parenting your baby, toddler, school-aged child, or teenager, and every approach may have its pros and cons in a unique way (I feel that parenting adult children should also have a category, but we’ll talk about that another day). With every trend, however, comes a critique, which can be difficult to swallow if you’re already jumped on the latest-parenting-trend-bandwagon. There are lots of different ways to approach parenting, and today’s article will focus on some of the reasons for how and why not to buy into the trends.
Parenting is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Anybody who has kids will agree with acknowledging that your children all have their unique personalities. I remember as a child, and I also happen to be a firstborn, thinking that one of my younger brothers got away with everything…that brother also happened to be a very headstrong child. The point here being, the parenting approach my parents took with my siblings and I slightly varied with each child. There are five of us, which means five unique personalities, accomplishments, achievements, and pet peeves.
Not every child is your child. The parent who is raving about “gentle parenting” on Instagram is the parent to her or his child, not yours. Well what does that mean? Yes, there are child specialists who base their methods off of research, etc., but even then - not every method will work for every kid. This reiterates and re-emphasizes that individuals only can apply those parenting skills to their own children, not to the children of the world. Each child will have her or his own reaction to various methods of disciplining, rewarding, and implementing consequences.
Eclectic is the way to go. Eclecticism is something that we discuss in modalities of therapy, which basically means taking a little bit of every approach and integrating it into one. For example, if you really like some of the techniques used in “love and logic,” you can pick and choose what you would use from that approach, blend in some “1-2-3,” and integrate other aspects of attachment-focused, per se. This way, you’re not bound to one parenting trend/style and can be lenient with the various methods that you feel will work best for your kiddo(s). At the end of the day, you know your child best, and will be the best person to get a feel for what approaches will or will not work.
All in all, if you feel that your parenting capabilities, stress levels, or child rearing responsibilities are affecting your mental health, seek guidance with one of our therapists at Niyyah Counseling. Many of our highly experienced professionals are parents themselves, and have also worked with clients who are parents on numerous occasions. Help is a click away if you need it - parenting is something we can connect to each other on. At the end of the day, it is the most challenging yet most rewarding job in the world; we at Niyyah Counseling are here to support you.