Becoming a mother is potentially the most life changing thing that a woman can go through, and becoming a father serves a similar feeling. From the start of finding out that one is pregnant to Googling every single symptom there is in the books, to experiencing childbirth, motherhood is something many women look forward to and can be very exciting. Birth trauma, however, is not something that anyone can anticipate or prepare for - and can leave a lasting impact on parents. Identifying and coping with birth trauma will be the focus in this article, as well as how to do your best in moving on from the trauma going forward.
The past does not define the future. This is possibly one of the most powerful things you can tell yourself. What your previous birth trauma was, whether that was an emergency c-section, shoulder dystocia, stillborn, miscarriage, brain damage, infertility, hearing of someone else who experienced a child having a physical/intellectual disability, or any other birth trauma not mentioned, you have valid and justifiable reasons to be traumatized and worry for your next birth, should you decide to have any more children. Yes, it was scary, and you are fearful of it happening again, but just because it did happen in the past doesn’t mean that it will happen again.
Meditate. Utilize a combination of birth affirmations, journaling exercises, and coach yourself into positive self-talk to prepare for the upcoming birth. You can search the web for endless resources and recordings of birth affirmations, for example, which when replayed, will leave a lasting impact on your mind and body. Your body was made for this, and although you did experience an occurrence of birth trauma, you are working toward helping yourself overcome it to work on moving forward.
Stay in the present moment. Acknowledge that in the here and now, you are alright, you made it this far, and you will continue to work on staying in the present while preparing for the future the best you can. Dwelling in the past will exacerbate your trauma, and as difficult as it sounds, it is crucial to help your mind and body move past whatever happened. It is easier said than done, yes, but it is not impossible.
Dads. Fathers and males don’t get as much attention with issues related to birth trauma, but dads are very worthy of validation. Yes, the birth trauma is different for fathers as they aren’t the main carriers, but can still leave a lasting impact on their emotions and fear for the future. Dads may feel powerless, invalidated, or try to focus more on the trauma of their partner.
Talk it out. Talk through your emotions, feelings, and fears. At Niyyah Counseling, we have a wide range of therapists who specialize in various forms of trauma, and are happy to pair you up with someone who will be a good match. You are welcome to reach out and schedule an appointment or consult with a therapist to get a feel for the process and ask any questions you may have. Additionally, you can check out our other blogs to read about topics related to birth trauma, infertility, and parenting. Your mental health and past experiences deserve to be validated, treated, and healed - help is just moments away.