Asking for help can be difficult. This is especially true if people assume you can’t do something. Each and every day, individuals with disabilities defy expectations and accomplish what some say could not be done. Speaking from my own experience living with a disability, people can be quick to offer up help, even when it is not needed. So what do you do, in those moments when a helping hand is truly needed?
Step one: Understand you. You know you. You know you better than anyone else knows you. So trust and listen to yourself. As the expert of your own life, you know your abilities better than most people.
Step two: Understand your needs. Take some time to assess and ask yourself what it is you need, in this moment or in the future. Do you need assistance from a specific person or a group of people. Is it personal support you need or is it support on a larger scale such as governmental or societal?
Step three: Understand your barriers. There can be a lot of barriers that stop those of us with a disability from the support we need and the support we deserve. Some barriers are placed there on our own accord, others by the larger community we find ourselves in. For example, perhaps a feeling of pride stops you from asking for help, maybe there is this deeper desire to prove that you can handle yourself and accomplish what needs to be done. On the other hand, maybe societally help is few and far between, perhaps your local government reduced the disability payment from social security, or they canceled a program that assisted you with transportation thus leading you to have less access to than before.
Step four: Ask. Use your voice. The old saying of the squeaky wheel getting the oil is true. No one will know what you need if you suffer in silence, change is slow for the riverbed but fast if you are like the rushing stream.
Step five: Accept. In life we will be told no or not right now many times in our life, especially if we need to ask for help and support. Just because you are given a no as an answer does not mean that you must carry it with you forever. The same holds true for when we are successful in our desire for support. One helpful hand can change a life but consistent help can change the world. A universal truth to life is the concept of change, it may be slow and it may not always be the change we desire but alas change arrives. The situation of yesterday is not guaranteed to be the situation of tomorrow. The problems of today can look different under the light of a new day.
Step six: Communicate feedback. Whether you are given the help and support you need or you are denied, this is a chance for you to use your voice. How could help have been better? How was the help well…helpful? This is your opportunity to mold that help and shape it into what you need from your perspective.
Step seven: Know that help is there for those that seek it. If you or a loved one are struggling with feeling support, our team here at Niyyah is here to help. Sometimes the most important step in getting the help you need is letting someone know.