Couples Therapy and Age by Kara Bradford, LCDC, LMSW

When thinking about couples therapy and whether or not there is an appropriate age to participate in it, I believe it’s safe to say that you’re never too old for couples therapy; however, it may be a different story for younger couples. Let me explain. 

When it comes to minors that are in relationships, there are things to consider for couples therapy: parent/guardian involvement and maturity of partners. Due to minors not having the ability to consent to treatment, the therapist or counselor would need consent from each minor’s parents. Additionally, in most states, parents/guardians have the right to accompany the minor in therapy or have access to client records. This fact alone could cause the individuals not to be completely honest with the therapist or their partner, which is essential in couples therapy. Another thing to consider is the maturity of the young couple; sometimes this is evident in behavior, but we also know from research that the prefrontal cortex (responsible for decision making and higher level thinking) is not fully developed until the age of 25. Does this mean that couples shouldn’t attend therapy until they’re 25? No, it’s just something to consider when thinking about successful completion of treatment.

 For couples who are considering marriage, there’s no definitive age, studies just suggest that premarital counseling produces greater relationship satisfaction than couples who do not seek premarital counseling. It is beneficial for couples to participate in couples counseling to learn important communication skills, effective problem solving skills, and make sure that their individual values align before entering into marriage. Couples counseling is a great way to learn more about your partner and a safe place to explore taboo topics with the help of a therapist.

For couples who may be entering a new relationship late in life, it’s never too late for couples counseling! There’s no reason for someone to feel as if they have to take what they can get later in life because “there’s no changing them at this age.” Why would you ever expect less effort to be put into a relationship just because you’re “too old?” Everyone deserves satisfaction with their relationships.

For couples who have been a couple for 10+ years can still benefit from couples counseling. Why? People change. Roles change. Responsibilities change. Though the relationship may be with the same person for all of this time, couples who have been together for decades have experienced different seasons of life which required adapting. Some relationships adapt better than others. Agreeing to couples counseling does not have to mean that the relationship is in trouble, it can be to help couples smoothly transition in and out of seasons of life. 

In summary, age is not so much the issue as to when to seek couples counseling, it is more about the goal of the relationship at the time. There are many different reasons as to why couples could participate in couples counseling, and no one is ever too young or too old to deserve satisfaction in their relationship.